Of Moss and Daisies
by 13BlacKAnGELs
Summary: It's been a tough few months for Lara, but things are starting to look a bit brighter, aren't they? Well, at least with the scrolls now in her possession, she might be able to find Avalon...but nothing is as simple as it seems, is it? Sequel to 'Lily Pad'
1. A Painful Beginning

_Disclaimer: Despite four months, still no own, but still love writing it!_

_A/N: Hey, everybody, I am BACK! (you all 'cheer') That's what I like to hear. Well, those who know me will think 'crazy girl's back'; those who have come back for a second helping of my stories are probably thinking 'it's about time!' and to those innocent newbies...be warned. I would read 'Lily Pad' and/or play Tomb Raider Legend first (must particularly emphasise the first) or this will make less sense than it probably already does (even with the summary of the last story)_

_Anyway, to my faithful readers (if there are any) 'Of Moss and Daisies' has finally...surfaced, for lack of a better metaphor. All I can say is, thanks to those who have stuck by me since the starts (The Third Demi-God and Timeless4Life); since near enough the start (Team-chaser) and everyone else who has reviewed regularly since reading (jacoblove and Sweet Christabel). I hope you like this story as much as the first! (Even if the summary doesn't seem to promise much, but take no notice of that!)_

* * *

Previously, in 'Lily Pad';

More of Lara's past was revealed when her estranged nineteen year old daughter-Lily-shows up, and she finally began to resolve matters with her…Kurtis returned looking for Lara, very much alive, but then left again after Anaya's funeral, with whom he was once in a relationship with…Alister confessed his love for Lara, but it backfired when she cheated on him with Kurtis-who she had fallen for in Prague-and then he discovered he had got Marina pregnant, a nurse and his previous girlfriend…Alister's sister, Emma, came for a visit during her holiday granted by her boss, James Rutland Senior…Alister discovered some scrolls that he believes may have come from Avalon, where Lara is still desperately searching for to find her mother…

* * *

_**Lara's POV**_

"_Lara, I really don't think this is the bes__t way for you to go," Zip warns me, over the headset. "This place is a freaking deathtrap!"_

"_Oh, you say that about everywhere I love, Zip-now why don't you just pipe down and let the adults get on with it?" He goes silent, in a huff. I slowly tread on, across the very ambiguous looking floor. I can hear humming. "Zip?"_

_"I'm not saying anything!" he protests._

_"No, you've disastrously found a way to annoy us without even moving your lips!" I sigh. "What have I told you about distracting me?"_

"_That you're more likely to plummet to your death if I do?"_

"_Yes, so unless you're on some secret mission to attempt to kill me-which I must admit, I have missed-do you think you could tone it down?"_

"_How much?"_

"_Completely." I sigh deeply and look down, staring at the edge of the dark floor. I'm not certain this is such a good idea now!_

"_Is that hesitation I detect?" Zip teases._

"_So would you if you were about to walk on to what you know will trigger a trap."_

"_Well, there was an alternative route," he states matter of factly. I raise my eyebrows, even though there are none to see it. Mind you, with Zip always going on in my ear, it's very easy to forget._

"_Oh, you mean the corridor with blades coming from all sides?" I check sceptically._

"_It would have presented you with a challenge! At least there, you knew what was coming," he mutters._

"_True-but where would the suspense be if you knew what was ahead?"_

"_No thanks, I choose life," he comments._

"_Which is why I'm here and you're not-or at least won't be for much longer if you don't shut up." He goes silent again. I look down at the floor again, the familiar rush of adrenaline building up. 'It's nothing you haven't done before,' I tell myself._

_I take a deep breath and step onto the dark platform… _

_For a moment__, nothing happened, until…as I feared, the floor begins to give way, revealing a rather uninviting pit of spikes below._

"_Lara, move!" Zip shouts over the headset, as I begi__n to run to a part of the floor that hasn't yet begun to disappear into the wall. I dash all over the place, sprinting where possible, but time is running out, the floor's disappearing with more and more speed, and the next stable floor is a good hundred metres away! _

_I begin to sprint, having to stick to the wall so as not to fall into the spike pit below. Seeing the ledge not too far away-and the floor pretty much gone-I am forced to take a running jump in an attempt to grab the edge._

_I flail through the air, arms outstretched to their peak, trying to move myself along to increase my chances of reaching it. 'Come on!' I think desperately. _

_I begin to descend, and I'm not close enough…not close enough. I kick desperately and uselessly, but it's too late. I pass by the ledge, my very nails outstretched…and miss._

"_LARA!" Alister shouts_

* * *

"Zip, you've been watching this tape since it was recorded-aren't you bored of it yet?" I sigh, hearing the familiar shouts on the tape. "You'll be adding dramatic music next!"

"Cool-why didn't I think of that?" Zip smirks. I just give him 'the look'. "Hey, Kurtis is gone and he was the only one I could get to play 'War' with me and there's not much else to do around here."

"Go for a walk," I suggest, and he just bursts out laughing. At my confused expression, he says;

"Oh, you were serious." I nod obviously. "Thanks, Lara, but I think I'll stick with the tape."

"Not if I burn the bloody thing!" I growl irritably.

"Why do you think I got copies?" Oh dear lord, he hasn't? Actually, that doesn't sound too far-fetched for him. "Anyway, you love me too much to take it away from me."

"Do I now?" He nods.

"Of course you do-why else would you put up with me 24/7?"

"A good point," I agree. "Especially if I'm paying you for it! This must have been what my father meant when he said I'd go mad one day." Zip snorts.

"I'll take that as a compliment." I sigh. I've got a headache and I'm too tired to argue with him. I don't know if he does it deliberately or if he really doesn't know what I mean sometimes. Personally, I think it's a mixture of both, but you never know. "Where'd Alister go?"

"How should I know?" He gives me a confused look.

"Jeez," he said, raising his hands in defence. "What's the matter with you?"

"Do you really want to open that can of worms?"

"On second thoughts, maybe not," he smirks.

"I've just got a headache, that's all," I tell him.

"Yeah, you don't look good," he agrees. "Have you been sick, honey?"

"Not today," I confess. "Yesterday's a different story."

"Maybe you should go see a doctor." Are there doctors for my condition?

"It's just a bug, Zip," I assure him. "It's nothing."

"But you're never sick-"

"Well maybe some very clever person decided it was time I was-will you let it go, please?" He shrugs and resumes the tape. I groan and stand up. I can't take much more of this same sodding film!

Suddenly-just as I reach the stairs, I feel a stabbing pain in my stomach. I clutch my stomach, grimacing, thankful Zip's too engrossed in the telly to notice. I groan silently, and continue to walk upstairs, the pain slowly starting to subside. I grip onto the banister, trying to support myself as it comes back again. Jesus, I'm only walking up the stairs!

'Shit!' I gasp silently as it returns with a huge stab in the middle of my abdomen. Tears springing to my eyes, I collapse to the floor, breathing heavily. 'Shit, shit, shit!'

"Lara, you okay?" Zip calls from downstairs, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Fine, Zip," I call out, though my voice is strained.

"You don't sound fine-you feeling sick, honey?" he asks sympathetically, though still looking at the bloody screen!

"Just a bit."

"Well you get yourself to bed, I'll bring you a cup of cocoa, okay? With perhaps an aspirin to go with it?"

"Since when did chocolate and aspirins mix?" I mutter sarcastically.

"That would be great, Zip," I say to him, loud enough for him to hear, and gripping the banister, I force myself up again. I almost fall over with the effort I put into it, but steady myself and begin the painful ascent once more.

Glancing down, I notice Zip has risen from his chair and has disappeared. I suppose he must have gone to the kitchen.

I gasp in pain as the huge shooting, stabbing pain returns. My eyes widen through the pain, and I literally double over clutching my stomach. I force myself to move regardless, though finding even pushing down the door handle too much effort right now. I force it open and push the door as hard as I can, only to invite in more cramps.

I trudge down the corridor, slowly as possible, hand pressed against the wall to manoeuvre myself along, taking deep breaths, desperately concentrating on that to keep the pain at bay.

I finally crawl into bed, huddling under the covers, shivering yet feeling hot at the same time. I close my eyes, feeling sleepy, when it is interrupted by Zip opening the door, a mug of cocoa in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

"I figured I'd do the aspirin for you," he tells me, putting the glass down. I nod gratefully, giving him the biggest smile I can muster, but it's more like a grimace. He smiles down at me comfortingly. "You'll feel better tomorrow, Lara," he assures me, stroking my forehead tenderly…almost maternally. "Jesus, you're hot!"

"Why thank you for that assessment, Zip, but it has been said-wait, aren't you gay?" He frowns in confusion. I struggle not to laugh, and then he finally nods and says 'oh!' as he finally realises what I meant. "Caught up, did you?" I laugh, and then clutching my stomach again. "Shit," I mutter.

"Your stomach?" I nod. "Do you feel like you're gonna throw up again?"

"Maybe," I say. He nods and gets up. "Where are you going?"

"Honey if you're in enough pain you can't laugh, I figured you're not gonna want to get up to throw up in the toilet."

"The door's right there, Zip," I point to it.

"That can feel like a hundred miles when you're sick, honey," he tells me, heading off into the bathroom. I lie back in bed, sighing. I feel tired, but also as if I couldn't sleep to save my life. My stomach…God, it hasn't hurt this much since-

"What the hell is that?" I say, as he emerges from the bathroom with a bucket in his hand.

"So you don't spoil your pretty carpet."

"Thank you, Zip, but don't you think you're going a bit overboard? I think I can manage to get to the toilet in time!"

"It's just a precaution-"

"Look, who died and made you Chief Consultant?" I snap. "Thank you, Zip, you've been very helpful but can you please just leave me alone now?" He nods.

"Sure," but still leaves the bucket by my bed, against my wishes. Oh, what's the bloody use in arguing with him? "Good night." He turns and walks out, closing the door behind him. I take an obligatory sip of my cocoa, but it tastes awful. I spit it back into the mug. I can't even bring myself to swallow it. I lied earlier, when I said I hadn't thrown up today. Well, sort of. I gagged but it never came. I was empty because I couldn't keep anything I'd eaten yesterday (or the day before I expect) down.

I switch the light off, flooding the room with darkness. Why does being ill make you so lonely? It's all you can do to huddle under the covers and squeeze your eyes shut hoping that sleep will come, that temporary relief from the sickness. Letting your subconscious take over…or not, as the case often is.

I've never been a good sleeper. I would usually lie awake for hours, even as a child, just staring into the darkness, taking in the unnamed shapes as my eyes adjusted. Of course, I grew out of that, but the insomnia has been harder to shift. It's been more of a recent problem, really. Since…well, you know.

Anyway, why am I still babbling? It's late. And I'm feeling a bit woozy…

I close my eyes, feeling that drift of unconsciousness flow over me. One movement could break it, I need to stay still…still...

* * *

_**Zip's POV**_

Man, I'm shattered! I never knew watching movies in Spanish could be so tiring! I rub my eyes, making them water a little.

"Have you been listening to those Korean tapes again?" a voice mutters sarcastically.

"Actually, no-I've moved on to Spanish movies," I say cheerfully. I look up into the face of a frowning Alister. "And just for the record, they were Japanese."

"Do I even need to ask?"

"You could-but if it's anything like the other six times, you'll just sigh and reach for your little cup of cocoa and see it as a release." True to my word, he does sigh but I guess there's no cocoa around. Oh that's right, I gave the last of it to Lara. "So what's up with you, dude? You look like Winston in a white sheet." He frowns at the metaphor but makes no comment. You mean I've finally worn him down?

"Nothing you would understand, Zip."

"Now why would you assume that?" Alister just shakes his head. "Whatever, man-you just wait till six months later."

"Six months-what's happening in six months?" he says panickedly. Jeez, did someone flick ink on his book?

"You know-the birth."

"Oh," he nods. "Right-I forgot."

"Again, you wait six months, my friend. You're never gonna forget again."

"And how exactly would you know?" he asks sceptically. I just tap my finger to my nose. He'll either stress about it for like six months when something new'll come up that he has to stress about…or could I just blame it on TV. "No, tell me," he says, not letting me down.

"I wouldn't-I just saw it on TV," I lie.

"You and that bloody television," he sighs.

"Don't mock the television!" I snap. He recoils in shock.

"I'm very sorry, I'll consider my actions more carefully next time."

"You better-and apologise to the TV next time, too."

"Apolo-I am not saying sorry to a bloody television!"

"What did we just discuss?" Alister rolls his eyes.

"I'm going to the maze to have a meaningful conversation with the hedge," he mutters.

"Okay-but if you pass the TV-"

"I am not apologising to your bloody television!" I cackle silently. He is just _too _easy sometimes.

* * *

_**Lara's POV**_

"_Lara? Lara?" a voice whispers. "Wake up, Lara." Images slowly start to fade from my mind as my eyelids stir. "Come on, Mother-time to wake up." My eyes snap open. Did she just say 'mother?' Is she here, is she-?_

_My eyes focus on someone looking down at me, dark brown curls cascading onto my face. The figure smiles. "It's good to see you awake, Mom-we were getting worried about you." I blink. As my eyes focus, the figure becomes clear…Lily._

_I try to sit up, but find myself paralysed. I wriggle my arms, and upon glancing around, see I am tied to the bed with restraints. "The nurse said you were fitting last night," Lily continues. I can see clearer now. I am in a clean, white hospital room, and not even in my own clothes anymore-instead, in a hospital gown._

_Lily is wearing a white doctor's coat and hasn't taken her eyes off me since I woke up._

"_How's the patient?" a new voice interrupts, also American._

"_The nurse said she was fitting last night," Lily repeats, and this nurse suddenly enters behind the second doctor-Zip?_

"_That's right-but she seemed to calm down after I pushed one milligram of epi-on the orders of Dr Fletcher of course." Fletcher…Alister? "But he couldn't be here today-apparently Marina is having a crisis with their youngest and needed him home."_

"_Well, that's okay," the new doctor says. "I might not be the specialist, but you're in good hands, Miss Croft." Lily moves out of the way and the new doctor leans down to examine me. Kurtis?! I struggle against my restraints, trying to free myself. "Best not to do that just yet, Miss Croft. We still need to ascertain how much of a risk you are to yourself or others-it's simply procedure, I'm sure you understand." He looks pointedly down at my left wrist as he says this, and for the first time, I notice a huge, clotted gash there…as if a knife had slashed at it._

"_I'm Dr Trent," he continues. "Dr Wickets here has been filling me in on your case." Lily hands him the file from my door. I try to move again, but it's useless._

'_Kurtis!' I shout, but no-one looks up, and I realise I have said it in my head. 'Kurtis!' I try to say it aloud, try to make my lips move…but they don't. They're just as paralysed as the rest of me._

"_I think the patient is in distress," Zip says suddenly._

"_That's okay, just slip her a sedative," Kurtis says._

'_Kurtis…' I think desperately._

"_I'm not cleared to administer that shot, doctor."_

"_Dr Wickets?" Kurtis turns to Lily, who nods. She picks up a large syringe containing dark red fluid-is that blood?_

"_This might sting a bit," Lily warns, as she presses the needle against my flesh, ignoring all struggles. "I'm sorry for this, Lara." The needle pierces my vein and I lurch forward as far as I can, in an attempt to stop her. I'm not crazy-I don't need this bloody sedative!_

_Lily looks surprised at my outburst. "That was a very strong reaction," she comments._

"_She's never done anything like that before, has she?"_

"_You've got her chart, Dr Trent," Lily smirks, looking down at me. I close my eyes shut, trying to block it out. Let me go! Let me-!_

"_It's okay, Miss Croft," I hear Kurtis whisper. "You've done great today-you can relax." He turns to Zip and Lily. "I know Dr Fletcher wasn't very optimistic, but I think we may have made a breakthrough. She might communicate with us yet." He looks back at me as he says this, a doctor's smug sympathy evident on his face. I struggle against my restraints again but none of them are looking._

_Kurtis. "Kurtis!" I shriek._

…………………………………

My eyes open slowly as my mind arouses from the dream. I half expect to see a white, spotless ceiling-the mark of a psychiatric ward. But there is nothing-only my own patterned ceiling and the posts of my four poster.

I glance around the room, again half expecting to see someone there, but there is no-one. I'm alone. I sit up slowly, feeling an aching pain in my stomach again. I emit a loud gagging cough, and quickly duck over to the bucket. God, I didn't know I still had anything in my stomach!

I wait for a few moments, waiting for the urge to subside and the tears of sickness to stop being produced.

I stand up groaning, but at least the pain has gone. I haven't felt this bad since I had chronic flu last year. Zip keeps insisting I should see a doctor, but I didn't need one then and I don't need one now. He knows better than to argue-I might be ill, but in no way disorientated as to where my guns are kept!

I let out a loud shriek as I look up and see someone has been here the whole time.

"Morning," they greet pleasantly.

"Morning."

"Zip says you're still unwell?"

"Well do you want to see the bucket or take his word for it?" He sniggers.

"I think I'll stand down and take his word for it."

"That's a first," I smile weakly. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I'm still your friend-I can come and check up on you, can't I? Or is only Zip granted that privilege now?"

"I just-" I begin quietly. "-thought you might be at the hospital."

"I'm not the one who's ill, Lara."

"I meant Marina," I clarify.

"She doesn't need me to hold her hand 24/7, you know," Alister sighs. "Anyway, she'll call if she needs help." Fair enough, I suppose. "Any plans for today?" he asks stupidly.

'Oh yes, I thought I'd take a flight to Australia and research those Aboriginal texts-with a bucket on board of course,' I think weakly.

"Not really," I mumble. "Perhaps swimming?" Alister laughs, but at my expression he stops. "What?"

"Lara, I'm not sure you're in the best condition to go swimming."

"It's not like I'm jumping from the beam, Alister."

"No, but if you can barely whisper, I hardly think you could go swimming."

"I promise I'll be careful," I smile. "I am feeling a bit better today."

"You just threw up," he counters.

"Well, let me take advantage of the fact the pain is now gone, then."

* * *

Taking a deep breath, I slip slowly into the pool. The beam was tempting, but I figured it would be too easy to slip and fall on the ground and that's the last thing I need now!

The icy waters feel so cool, soothing almost. Oh yes, I've missed this. I brush my way through the water, and allow it to glide over me. This is so relaxing-why haven't I done this more often?

I turn on my back and proceed to backstroke. Oh, this is lovely…

"Ah!" I gasp as a pain sharper than I've felt before stabs at my stomach. I double over in the water, panting slightly, waiting for it to subside. I groan in pain, and try to move towards the edge, but any movement feels like my stomach is being eaten away at my insides. Shit!

"_She's in distress. Give her this-it should calm her down," _I hear Kurtis's voice echo in my mind.

Unwilling tears stream out of my eyes, as I force myself to keep moving, each movement a dagger hacking at my already flesh-eaten stomach.

"_It's okay, Lara-just close your eyes and sleep. It's been a hard day-you did great," Lily soothes._

Please…please… My heart rate increases as the edge seems to move further away from me. Grey fills my vision repeatedly, until the whole room is just a blur of a mixture of indistinguishable colours and shapes. My limbs start to shake-through fear or from the cold? I feel so woozy…so very weak.

My eyes close involuntarily. Oh how I want to sleep…

My instincts snap them open again, and I am suddenly aware of the pain that I was suppressing in my dreamlike state. I attempt to move forward, the pain gradually beginning to fade. I'm so tired…

"Ow!" I cry, grabbing my abdomen with my left hand, using the other to try to keep me afloat. Shit, shit, shit! I start to cry through frustration, fear and desperation. Please…let me go…let me out…

"_Just calm down, Miss Croft-this will only sting a little bit, and then you'll be back in twilight world…which, let's face it, __is where you belong in your condition," Alister says, muttering the last bit tauntingly._

Grey fills my vision again and the pain is sharper than ever. My head sinks back onto the water uncontrollably, and I close my eyes through sheer exhaustion. The water level seems to rise, flowing over my mouth and occasionally into my nose. I feebly attempt to raise my head, but it's too heavy…it's too much…

It's so beautiful…the light makes the ripples above shine in all their glory. It looks almost heavenly…the light at the end of the tunnel, the gateway to a new dimension.

It's amazing how far light can penetrate and what effects it can have when you look at it from underwater…especially when you squint, and it's the last thing you see, before your eyes close and that menacing, dooming black oblivion swallows you once more.

* * *

Ah, I've missed this...well, I will when I see your reviews. You will, right? You have a comment (anything) or just want to say hi, hit the button to your...left? Well, you know which one I mean! Lolx-will be back within two weeks hopefully, as am going away for nine days (yay!) so obviously can't update. Bye! x13BlacKAnGELsx


	2. Home Truths

_Disclaimer: Not _technically _mine, but I'm next in line, just as soon as ten director people and their families die...so anyday now!_

_Team-chaser: You were first to review! Yay! Right, here's an Alister plushie and some chocolate! And I'm glad you like it! And I was very confused (but then I'm easily confused) about what Lara and Marina have in common...I don't know what it is. Tell me in your next review or in a PM or something lolx-thanx 4 reviewing!_

_Mollystars: Oh wow, new reviewer! And thanks so much! Have some chocolate! lolx-thanx 4 reviewing!_

_The Third Demi-God: Of course you're confused as hell...wow, my little scheme worked! And Kurtis is very glad you stopped trying to kill him and has agreed to give you back the actual Final Fantasy disc rather than his AOD game (he was trying to make you like him, see) anyways, chocolate! Here you go! lolx-thanx 4 reviewing!_

_thenightwithin: First of all-I love your name! Second, v. happy u reviewed for this one! Chocolates? Yes? lolx-thanx 4 reviewing!_

_jacoblove: Yeah well, took you long enough 2 review! And I'm sorry if any offence was made to any TVs out there, but Alister's stressed, okay? And don't mention the bathtub-give away my plotlines! (ahem) And I have an apocalypse weneva Dizzy comes so I'm used to it lolx-thanx 4 reviewing-here's your choccie!_

_Sweet Christabel: Thank God you're happy, I was so close to taking refuge in another crater hole but now I can stay in mine! And I would never quit this storyline-got way too much planned, my friend. Have some chocolate-lox,thanx 4 reviewing!_

_AnitaFaulks: You know what, I've never noticed L/A fics don't have happy endings before, but you're right! Oh well-I'm happy to follow the crowd! Here's your chocolate lolx-thanx 4 reviewing!_

_Timeless4Life: Welcome back, my Morzan's twin who lives in a fridge dreaming friend! Of doom! And much as I love Kurtis-gimme Murtagh! He's mine! You've already the hot guy! Vincent! Murtagh's just extra-special! So nyih! And I shall never apologise to the keyboard-it keeps putting h instead of g for reviewinh! See? See? Anyways, have a Vincent plushie AND...no chocolate lolx-only jokin-thanx 4 reviewing!_

* * *

_Author's POV_

"_She gave us such a scare, I don't know what she was thinking!"_

"_Relax, Dr Fletcher," Zip drawled. "I'm sure you'll still get to keep your MD!"_

"_It's not even that serious-she's sustained a couple of deep bruises to her wrist when she broke free of the restraints and created enough mess on the floor to give the janitor an early Christmas bonus!" Lily added. "But because we knew you'd be like this, we gave her another sedative upon getting her back into bed."_

"_How very apt," Alister muttered__ sarcastically, beginning to pace the room anxiously. He couldn't understand it-she was under such heavy monitoring, 24 hour observation, how could she have _possibly _left the room unsupervised and without anyone's knowledge? Granted, the security guard wasn't always around, they didn't hire one especially, but there should always be a doctor present!_

"_Who __was on duty last night?" he asked suddenly. The two glanced at each other awkwardly. They all knew, of course, but they weren't ones for snitching on each other. "Well? Come on, team! We stick together, don't we? We get to the bottom of things together!" Again, no-one said anything, but kept looking at each other for approval. "You've got nothing to say, nurse?" he questioned. Zip stayed silent. "That's got to be a first." Zip only shrugged._

"_What about you, Dr Wickets?" he turned on her. "You know everything that goes on here. Surely you can tell me?" When no-one spoke, he sighed loudly. "If no-one tells me, I can always check the rota, you do know that?" The pair looked down uncomfortably. "And where's Dr Trent today, he's not usually late."_

"_Right here, Dr Fletcher, sir," Kurtis announced, casually flouncing in. "What have I missed?"_

"_Were you on duty last night for our patient's watch?" He frowned. "Because she escaped-well, not in so many words-but the point is, she broke free of her restraints and left the room. Now either you have very loyal friends, or you weren't the culprit. And if not, could you kindly tell me who was?"_

_His eyes widened, and his mouth dropped in a guilty shock. "Oh crap!" he cursed. "I am so, so sorry! I completely forgot it was my turn-"_

"_Why didn't you think to consult the bloody rota?!" Alister ranted. "That's what it's there for, you stupid Yank! Are you illiterate as well as grossly incompetent?!" Lily and Zip frowned at the use of the word 'Yank' but said nothing. They both knew from experience not to interrupt Dr Fletcher when he was in a bad mood!_

"_I'd convinced myself it was Lily's-Dr Wicket's-duty. I'm really sorry, Dr Fletcher, it won't happen again."_

"_Too right it won't, because you're fired!"_

"_What-?" Kurtis gasped disbelievingly. "You can't fire me! It was one mistake!"_

"_Correction-you have now made the second mistake by answering back," Alister replied smoothly. "And it wasn't just 'one mistake!' You _know _she's our most critical patient! We know hardly anything about her condition! We don't know _what _harm she could do to herself and others! She's unstable, she depends on us! You were aware of this, and yet you still behaved carelessly! We entrusted her into your care for just one evening, and you just abandoned her!"_

"

* * *

_Lara's POV_

_Most critical patient and you just abandoned her…_

_Abandoned her._

Abandoned_ her._

YOU ABANDONED HER!

* * *

My eyes slowly open, my eyelids heavy as full bags of sand. It takes me several attempts to open them fully, and even then everything is blurry. It's so white…am I in my room? My ceiling's white…it could be that… 

"She gave us such a scare, I don't know what she was thinking!" someone rants in the hallway. What-? Alister?

"Relax, _Dr _Fletcher, I'm sure this won't affect your dissertation," Zip drawls. Yes, that's Alister. I smile. I think Zip's life revolves around winding Alister up…why am I getting such a strong feeling of déjà vu…?

Shaking the thought from my head, I move to try and climb out of the bed and find my way obscured with bars. What…

_I wriggle my arms, and upon glancing around, see I am tied to the bed with restraints._

Well it's not exactly restraints, but I'm not far off!

I glance around and a quick scan confirms I am _definitely _not in my room! The room is a sterile white, and there is a drip by the bed-no longer king size, I notice. I look down and see I am wearing a hospital gown. Oh God…I didn't want to come back here…not after last time…

"Zip?" I call, the loudest I can muster being a soft, croaky voice. What's happened? "Zip? Alister?"

* * *

_Alister's POV_

"She gave us such a scare, I don't know what she was thinking!" I cry, still feeling shaky at what has taken place. Just imagine what would have happened-

"Relax, _Dr _Fletcher, I'm sure this won't affect your dissertation," Zip smirks.

My dissertation? He thinks all I care about-after all that's just happened-is my _bloody dissertation?! _I emit a frustrated cry and pace away from him. If he says just one more comment out of line, I swear I will punch him!

"Woah, baby alert," Zip mutters. Oh, that's it!

I lunge towards him, but he only raises his hands in defence saying; "Hey, hey, hey! Right behind you, dude!" Out of impulse, I turn-though half expecting it to be some very witty escape concoction of Zip's-and I see Marina standing behind me. She doesn't look too happy.

"What you doing back here?" she asks coldly. What are _you_, love? You're supposed to be in intensive care!

"Visiting," I mutter.

"Aw, what happened this time? Did she crack her head open on a spike?!"

"Listen, sweetheart, there are two ways you can get back to intensive care where you belong-now you can either walk away and I'll pretend I didn't hear you. Or, you can stand here and let me do the honours myself!" I hiss furiously, mustering my most threatening look.

She glares at me disgustedly in return, but complies and walks away. I take a deep breath as a hidden adrenaline build suddenly releases itself. I feel shaky again.

"Uh, Alister, I know what she said was-"

"It's none of your business, Zip, so stay out of it!"

"She's pregnant, Alister-you can't just threaten a-"

"I just did!" I snap. "What excuse does she have, hormones? Well, men get them too!"

Well, why can't they? The only difference is, she may or may not be acting this way because of pregnancy hormones, but they're not the only ones around! What about stress-induced hormones, or don't they count for men? I think I'm worthy of a few what with Lara and everything.

I mean, she cheated. I know, I know, it was three months ago, but I-I loved her! I put myself and my heart (not to mention my relationship with another woman!) on the line for her and she just…tossed us off. She put Trent on the line instead…instead of me…

And he just buggered off, didn't he?! Maybe if he'd been more…deserving of her, I wouldn't be so pissed off, but that she cheated for some one-night stand is what really gets up my arse!

I'm pretty sure he was only a one-night stand. There were only a few days between what happened and when they went to Bolivia, and even Lara couldn't commit to something like that at the funeral of her best friend!

Well, the Lara I thought I knew couldn't, anyway. She may sometimes look as if she's devoid of feelings, but I-I know she does. Have feelings. God knows, she showed enough of her emotions when we were together. It was the first time I'd seen such an…output, for lack of a better word, from her. I'd never even seen her cry before! Well, not often. But the point is, she opened up to me…she trusted me. I made her promises to never tell anyone, and I've kept them, even now.

Did Trent? Did she even open herself to him? Maybe she did, and that's why he left. The bastard! He just used her, didn't he?! He just used her for sex-and a free ticket to visit Bolivia!-and then the moment she started to show she was a real person, he couldn't hack it and just left! He left her after a bloody funeral! What sort of person does that?! To Lara? She didn't deserve that, of course she didn't.

I admit, I was secretly pleased when he left. Not because of the impact it apparently had on Lara, but because I _hated _him. I physically hated him! I wanted to drag him up the roof and push him off and laugh as he slid off the tiles into thin air…and then to be a typical bad guy and mutter 'ooh, nasty' as I heard the loud crunch as his body hit the floor, now mangled from the fall…or to be less bloodthirsty, there's enough guns in the house.

No, that would have been too quick. I wanted him to suffer, to panic as he realised the situation out of his control, that he would inevitably die!

"_Bye-bye, Kurtis…"_

"Zip?!" a voice weakly cries from Lara's room. Oh, don't I count anymore?

In true hero form, Zip runs into the room. I feel as if it should be in slow motion! I don't follow. There's no point. Let her have her happy reunion before the forced meeting with me.

"Alister, stop being a prick-okay, okay, prat-and get your arse in here!" Zip calls. I sigh and reluctantly walk in. Well, she looks healthier and perkier than before. She's not so pale now, and her lips aren't blue…

"So which floor is it this time?" she laughs weakly.

"Surgery," I answer.

"Surgery?" she repeats, confused. "But…what am I doing here? There's nothing wrong with me."

"Then why did you faint in the pool?" I contradict. "Or did you mistake the water for your bed and fall asleep naturally?"

Oh don't give me that look!

"Hey, there are such things as waterbeds!" Zip argues-trying to cover my hostility, I presume. Don't bother-I don't care. Lara can perceive me however she wants.

Lara laughs at his feeble attempt. "I assume there is a diagnosis, or did they run out of beds in MAU?"

"MAU?" Now it's Zip's turn to be confused. What, is the terminology too much for his small brain?

"Medical Assessment Unit," I sigh.

"Oh!" he laughs. "Yeah, no, they got a diagnosis. You'll be having the operation today. They say they don't wanna do a…what was it, Alister?"

"Laparoscopy."

"Yeah, what he said," Zip tells Lara, who's looking very amused by this banter. Well, whatever floats your boat. "Anyway, they don't wanna do one cos it looks too advanced." She smiles confusedly at him.

"What's too advanced, Zip?"

"You know-your appendix." She frowns. Oh, Jesus-

"I…have appendicitis?" she asks, surprised. "Says who?"

"Doctors," I mutter sarcastically, but they don't hear.

"Doctors," Zip tells her, though in a slightly more acceptable tone. "This guy came in, examined your stomach for like, a second, and then he said it was…appendictis." I sigh inwardly at the misuse of the word. It's appendi_citis_, how hard is it?!

"Oh…okay," is all she utters. "Well, I wasn't expecting that, certainly."

"It's a bit of a pain, but it's not serious," Zip assures.

"Till you try drowning yourself," I mumble.

"Okay, Alister, get out!" Zip snaps suddenly. I shrug. With pleasure.

I didn't even want to be in there anyway.

* * *

_Lara's POV_

Appendicitis. You mean to tell me that all of this pain, this hassle, this whole bloody affair has been because of a bit of _appendicitis?! _For goodness sake, I thought I was stronger than that! To be rendered unable to move and…what happened because of a faulty primal organ!

"What'cha thinking?" Zip asks.

"That it seems a bit unfair I'm back in hospital because of an organ I don't even need," I mumble weakly.

"Yeah-I mean, you don't even eat grass!" I have to snort at this. "Unless-"

"Zip?"

"Yep?"

"Shut up."

"Gotcha." He leans back in his chair, and stares off into space, glancing around occasionally as if following something in the air.

"When's the operation?" I ask him, feeling oddly nervous.

"Um…I think he said they'd have to do it later today or you're more likely to burst."

"I'm sorry?"

"Your appendix-it'll burst," he explains. Oh. Well this has been an excellent week. Hey, maybe one of us will be involved in a road crash next week! Oh no, that's happened already. Sorry. "You look very thoughtful."

"Just wondering that maybe if I'd eaten more grass, my appendix wouldn't be playing up," I mutter sarcastically to the window.

"Hey, me, too!" he exclaims. I turn and face him, looking disbelieving. Oh God…what's scary is, he's actually serious. "Sorry, honey."

"What for?"

"For acting like an arse," he clarifies.

"What do you mean, you're always like this." He shoots me an offended look. "Sorry," I smirk. "I meant, joking around and generally trying to lighten up a situation."

"Well," he agrees, looking modestly flattered. "No, I'm just…I dunno, I'm all over the place right now."

"How do you think I feel?" I mumble.

"Why did you do it, Lara?" I frown in confusion. What's he talking about?

"What?" He shoots me what is supposed to be a knowing look, but I've still no clue what he's on about. "No, seriously, Zip, I'm lost."

"It's just…you must have known you wouldn't be able to handle the water," he says desperately.

"Of course I didn't, do you really think…oh, Zip," I say sadly. "Do you really think I was doing that?"

"I don't know, Lara," he admits. "I don't want to believe it, but it's like _you'd _know if you couldn't handle it."

"Zip, I promise you, I didn't," I reassure him, taking his hand. "You have my word, I wouldn't ever do something like that again." He nods, but doesn't look convinced. He just needs time. "But, Zip, what happened?"

"You fainted." I roll my eyes.

"I meant, how did I get here-and don't you dare say 'by ambulance'!" He smiles as he realises I'm joking.

"Well," he begins, "we found you and got you out."

"Who's 'we?'" God, he's vague sometimes!

"Well, me and Alister," he says like it's obvious. "Actually, I'm taking way too much credit, it was Alister. I just freaked and started jumping up and down." I emit a weak laugh, but I can't forget what he said about Alister.

Oh, Alister, I'm quite indebted to you, aren't I? This is the…third time in three-four-months.

Am I surprised? I don't know. I suppose I half am, but on the other hand, wouldn't anyone do it? I was lying-presumably face down-in the water. What would you do? Leave them or check to see if they're at least alive?

So no, I suppose I'm not that surprised. But still, it makes you think…

He's going to make a great father. I'm really happy for him and Marina-well, for him. He's not capable of not caring, if you see what I mean. At least, not to such an extent he would leave you to drown. Marina doesn't know how lucky she is, to be impregnated by him. You couldn't find much more a doting father. I hope she does know just how fortunate she is…I really do.

* * *

I know Zip means well, but lately, he's been driving me a little crazy. I swear if it wasn't for those stupid child bars (for safety, so the doctor says. I'm thinking more of the public humiliation!) I would have strangled him at least three times! 

He keeps making me listen to this stupid dolphin music; 'to relax you', he told me. It's a very common misconception that it's relaxing, clearly. I was actually cheering inside when his walkman stopped working.

Alister's been in a couple of times, but only to ask Zip if he wanted a coffee or some lunch, and completely ignoring me. To be honest, I have a feeling Zip turned him down just to spite him. Childish as it is, I am a bit flattered, if that was the case.

I know Alister was very hurt when he saw me and Kurtis together, but that was three months ago! Obviously I don't expect it to be exactly as it was, but…I just…oh I don't know.

The sound of the door opening reaches my ears, but I don't react.

"I'm here to get you prepped for surgery, Miss Croft," a strong Cockney voice draws me from my thoughts. "Miss Croft?" Wait, Cockney? The only person I know with a Cockney accent is…

I turn around to face her, and see my suspicions confirmed, and that it is actually Marina.

"What are you doing here?" I ask groggily.

"I told you, to get you prepped," she sighs impatiently. Her bedside manner needs work!

"But you work in intensive care."

"I _did_-but I'm still technically in-training, so they rotated me to Surgery. I hope this is no trouble?" she adds sarcastically. I shake my head. "That's useful, cos I'm the only one available right now."

She knows, doesn't she? She knows about me and Alister, that she herself was cheated on by him…

"Have you eaten anything in the last 12 hours?" she asks.

"Even if I did, you'd have pumped it by now," I mumble.

"A simple yes or no will suffice."

"No."

"Drank anything?"

"Not that I can remember."

"Do you have any allergies to anaesthetia or any other drugs or antibiotics we should know about?" I shake my head. "I'm afraid I'm going to need a vocal answer."

"No," I say forcefully.

"Right, as this is such a simple procedure, a DNR form won't be necessary," she says, somewhat grudgingly. "Unless the patient requests it themselves, of course," she adds quietly, knowing this would be loud enough for me to hear. "But we will need you to sign this, to save us from any liability." She hands me a form. I look at her questioningly. "It's just to say that you consent to our operating on you."

"If I had any objections, I'd have said so, wouldn't I?"

"You'd think, but there was one case in London where a patient successfully sued the hospital for a million pounds for putting them through the stress of an operation they apparently hadn't consented to. What really got up their arse, though, was that it had been a breast reconstruction after her cancer treatment!" She pauses. "So basically, you don't sign, we can't operate." She hands me a pen and I place my signature on the dotted line. "Thank you." She leaves the room, but returns shortly with a surgical gown and cap. "If you could kindly place these on, I can wheel you down to the theatre, Miss Croft." She hands me the garments and calmly exits.

Holding them in my hands, I feel a fear creep through me as I realise what's about to happen. I'm about to be operated on…under anaesthetic…I'll have no control and no say…I could die and not even realise it.

I never thought I'd say this, but I am actually scared. Well, nervous. The last time I was operated on was when I was eight and had my tonsils out! And even then, I was given the anaesthesia through a different method so I was out before they even took me to theatre!

Well, I suppose the last time was when I was in the coma, but again, I was knocked out before being wheeled down! I've never actually _seen_ a theatre except on an episode of 'ER' once!

With much trepidation, I place the cap onto my head, being careful to tuck my ponytail under it, and switch the gowns, tying the other at the back as best I can. Oh God…

_Calm down, Lara-it's just a simple procedure, _a loud voice enters my head, sounding American. _You look so scared._

I am.

_Well don't be_they soothe. _It's a really simple procedure. Nothing's gonna go wrong, I promise you._

Can you?

_Of course, _they say.

"_Count backwards from ten for me,"_a new voice interrupts. _I start counting down, my eyes feeling like lead…I can't move, I can't do anything. Help me!_

"_Relax, it's okay," she says, my eyes unfocused, only able to pick out an excessive amount of dark brown curls. "You're going to be fine, Mum, just fine."_

_I am…I am…_

Mum?!

* * *

_Author's POV_

"I hope she's okay," Zip muttered for the thousandth time to Alister, who sighed for the thousandth time.

"She's a big girl, is our Lara, I'm sure she'll get through this just fine," Alister replied without even looking up from his magazine.

"Yeah, but what if she doesn't?" Zip flustered, plonking himself down next to Alister. Alister frowned at the sudden shift in balance, but regained his decorum and continued to read. "Surgery goes wrong all the time-I've seen it on 'ER'!"

"That's what you're basing this? A show rated for entertainment and dramatic value?" Alister said sceptically.

"Well yeah-they're not so far off!"

"Zip," Alister began as patiently as possible, turning to face his flustered friend. "Lara has faced demons from beyond reason; she's escaped from whole palaces of traps; she's fought enough enemies to make the plague victim numbers quake in their boots and quite recently has survived a very life-threatening coma…and you think she can't handle a tiny operation to remove her appendix?"

"Well, that's it, Alister! I just get this horrible feeling that her luck will run out eventually," Zip muttered, sounding quite scared for her. Alister took his hand comfortingly and smiled sympathetically.

"Maybe," he agreed. "But it's not going to be today. Or anytime soon-Lara will get through this in such a fashion most wouldn't dare to write about and carry on as if nothing happened because that's who she is. She's not going to die today, Zip."

With that speech, Zip had to admit he did feel much more hopeful…it was probably good, then, that neither of them knew what was actually going on behind the doors of Theatre 2…

* * *

"_She's losing pressure!"_

"_Where's the blood?! The bag's almost empty!"_

"_She's gone into V-fib! Charge to 100!"_

"

* * *

_Lara's POV_

"…and I'm afraid that due to complications in your surgery, we'll have to keep you in for a bit longer than anticipated," the doctor concludes, closing notes.

"What complications?" Zip questions demandingly and protectively. He does look after me-he sounds like my father!

"I'm afraid Miss Croft suffered an adverse reaction to the anaesthesia, causing her to spasm which indirectly caused an excessive loss of blood," he explains.

"What exactly does 'indirectly' mean?"

"The surgeon at the time had no means of predicting the sudden movement, and it was an unfortunate accident that her artery was nicked."

"Are you kidding me? Are you seriously telling me she almost died because of _your_ incompetence?!"

"Zip-" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"No!" he argues. "This isn't good enough! Do you know who you're dealing with here?! This woman has been through more than you could dream of in four lifetimes, and yet you just stand here calmly saying she almost died because of someone else's stupidity!"

"We are very sorry, it was an unfortunate accident. If Miss Croft had been aware she was allergic to anaesthesia of any kind, she should have alerted our nurse during her prep-"

"Are you saying this is her fault?" Zip accuses.

"No-one is placing blame because no-one could have predicted this," the doctor calmly explains. "I am very sorry for this, Miss Croft, truly, we know this is an inconvenience for most-and for you especially-but there's no more we can do now except keep you under observation to ensure you suffer no after-effects." I nod. I'm too tired to argue. I always did hate anaesthetic. Even local anaesthetic was enough to tire me out when I just went to the dentist! Believe me, if it wasn't for these effects, Zip's arguments would be a plea compared to what I'd have in stall!

"Even so, I'm going bloody private next time!" I mutter angrily. I'm with Zip on this. It would just be taking the piss if I were to die because of a doctor's incompetence after everything I've done!

"That will be your choice to make," is all he retorts. "I'll leave you to rest now, Miss Croft."

"You do that," I reply, turning away from them both. I hear him exit and close the door, with a small mutter; "I'll send a nurse to check on you later." I can already guess who that will be!

I hear Zip sigh loudly and collapse into a chair. I know, Zip-it's been a hard week.

* * *

_Zip's POV_

I don't think I've been this worked up since I found out that Alister wasn't gay!

It just got to me, you know? I mean, Lara is such an amazing person. She really is, I admire her so much! Not just for everything she's done (but you gotta admit, it's pretty cool) but for…absolutely everything! Her fierce independence, her unwavering loyalty somewhat, her…capability for almost anything! You will never meet someone quite like Lara Croft again.

That's why it made me so angry how close she was to death cos some freaking amateur was operating on her! A 'sudden spasm' with no 'means of prediction'? Oh, come on! That _is_ the sorta excuse you find on a hospital drama! I mean, he wasn't just insulting her (I mean, adverse reaction, come on!) he was actually trying to _blame _her?! No, no, that's just not gonna happen! She's my best friend…and I know she hates to admit, but she does need someone on to protect her sometimes. I would give my life to protect her, if that's what it came to.

I look over at her and see she's gone to sleep. I stroke her hair gently. Sleep tight, Lara. You deserve it. It's been a tough week.

I quietly get up and leave the room, closing the door behind me.

"So?" Alister says as soon as I come out.

"She needs to be kept in," is all I let myself answer. He does _not_ wanna get me started!

"Why?" I should have guessed Alister wouldn't let me do that, of course.

"Something went wrong in surgery, and she lost a lot of blood, apparently-they just wanna check up on her. She's gonna be fine."

"That's good." Well, don't be too upset, Alister, it was only her life on the line for a moment there! "So she's going to be okay?"

"That's what I just said." He nods and walks away. "Dude?" He turns. "Where you going?"

"I thought I'd go back to the Manor," he shrugs.

"Why?"

"She doesn't need me here-let's face it, all I do is put all of us in a bad mood," he tries to laugh. "Besides, she has you. I'm just being useless."

"Well, thanks for all your concern, I'll be sure to pass it on!" I shout sarcastically.

"You do that," he retorts just as sarcastically. Oh that's just great! First Winston, now Alister! I could handle Lara, but these two are just stealing my personality!

Well, looks like I got a while…I mean, now Alister's gone, I can't wind him up, especially now he's taken sarcasm…I'll think of something new to annoy them with, just you guys wait!

* * *

_Lara's POV_

"_Miss Croft?"_

"_Miss Croft?"_

"Miss Croft!" a voice snaps impatiently, snapping me awake. I roll towards the door and see the unsmiling face of Marina looking down at me. "So sorry to wake you, but I need to take your obs now."

"It's no trouble," I say through gritted teeth. She produces the clipboard taken from my door and checks my heart monitor. She takes a note of the number.

"I'm just going to need to check your blood pressure now," she tells me, bringing out a blood pressure cuff. She wraps it around my arm, and observes the screen again. She sighs and leans over me to readjust it. It is then I notice her stomach…

"You're not big," I mutter from nowhere.

"I beg your pardon?!" she demands, outraged.

"Your stomach-it's not swollen yet," I clarify, in a misty tone even I don't know the source of.

"Well why would it be?" she asks accusingly, seemingly having forgotten the job she was sent to do.

"Mind you, I suppose you can be no more than…four months along?" I say, more to myself than her. "Some women don't start showing till their sixth month, do they?"

"No," she agrees, now remembering herself and taking a note of my blood pressure reading.

"How many months is it? Is it three?" I babble. "You are keeping it, aren't you? You are keeping your baby?" Her eyes widen.

"Why would I keep-?"

"You're not keeping it?" I whisper, feeling shocked and hurt all of a sudden. "You're having an abortion?"

"No, I-"

"Adoption?" I gasp, the word tasting like soiled dirt in my mouth. I hate that word…I hate the word and the concept! I sit up, and clasp her hand between mine. "Marina, I know I'm probably the last person to give advice, but please…it will hurt you more than a thousand knives stabbing at an already tender area if you give her up." I know it did-

"Or him," I add hastily. "Just listen to me…at least think about it." She doesn't say anything. Her face is a mixture of shock, horror and slight anger…and fear, if I'm not much mistaken.

"What's Alister been saying?" she asks me calmly, redeeming herself.

"Not much," I confess. "Other than that you were pregnant three months ago, he's not said a word since." She nods.

"That'll be all I need, Lara, thank you," she quickly says, taking the charts with her and swiftly exiting.

What did I say?

* * *

_Alister's POV_

"I knew you'd come crawling back," I'm greeted with as I walk down the hall.

"I forgot the keys," I reply stiffly. "Do you have them?" He shrugs. "Well, could you check, please?" He sighs and lays down his magazine (a woman's magazine…how original) and digs in his pockets.

"Come on, you bastard," he mutters to himself. "Aha!" he cries triumphantly, fishing them out from his jeans pocket. He tosses them to me. "Knock yourself out, dude. Sure I can't tempt you to stay?"

"What for?" I shrug. "Like I said, she has you-I'm being more of a hindrance than a help, really. We both know that, Zip." He merely shrugs. Well, whatever floats your boat.

I smile at him and walk away from him, half expecting him to shout a smart remark of some sort as I walk away, but the rustle of paper is enough to confirm he's picked up his magazine again and hasn't even noticed.

The bright sun blinds my eyes as I emerge from the dark West Entrance of the hospital. I don't know how I found the entrance so easily-both of us were too panicked this morning to pay much attention to where the Surgery floor actually _was_ in relation to an entrance.

I head for the car but see someone standing there from my position. Who-? Oh, bloody hell, Marina!

"Marina!" I curse loudly as I reach the car. "What-?"

"I want a word with you, Fletcher!" she hisses. "Just what exactly have you been telling your mates?"

"Exactly what you told me-that you're pregnant!"

"And you didn't think to tell them the rest?"

"What's there to tell?" I brush it aside boredly. "Why are you so bothered, anyhow, it's not like we see you regularly."

"When my bloody patient is giving me advice against adoption, it gets up my arse just a little bit!" What is she on about now?!

"What are you talking about?"

"Lara!" she says the name as if there were a malaria mosquito in her mouth. "She started saying all these weird things about how I wasn't big yet and then telling me I shouldn't go for adoption! Just what the hell am I supposed to say to that?!"

"Tell her the truth," I suggest viciously.

"What, and take away your duty? No way, mate, you're not getting out of it," she scoffs. "Either tell them or-"

"Or what?" I demand.

"Or I'll make this a thousand times worse for you-I've still got the ring, Alister," she smirks nastily. "Now I'm not going to tell you cos I'd hate to ruin the surprise-but sort this out, or I will!" With that, she marches off in the opposite direction.

Haughty little bitch! Just who the _hell_ does she think she is?!

"Marina?!" I shout after her. She sighs loudly and turns around and jumps back as a small blue box comes flying her way, narrowly avoiding her head. Pity. "Here! You might as well have the whole package! I would hate for your little revenge plan to go awry for a lack of means!" She has a look of quiet shock on her face, but then, with an air of triumph, brings her foot down on the box. She gives me a look as if to say 'there!' and then marches defiantly inside.

I cry out in anger and collapse into the car, slamming the door and bang my fist on the dashboard, cracking the screen. Oh who-gives-a shit?

My head collapses on the steering wheel. I take deep breaths, trying to regain me composure. A heavy lump forms in my throat and it's only through much control that the tears threatening to spill haven't done so.

I sniff a couple of times, and wipe away invisible tears. I'm all right, I'm all right.

I place the key in the ignition, and switch the engine on. I move the gear into reverse and start moving the car backwards, out of its space. What the-?

Zip?!

I quickly brake as the stupid prick jumps towards the door, shouting "Alister!" I wind the window down, shouting;

"What the hell are you doing, trying to get yourself in the room next to Lara's?!" I clutch my heart, gasping as the shocked feeling starts to subside.

"Sorry, but you didn't seem to notice me," Zip shrugs off-handedly.

"You scare me sometimes, Zip," I sigh.

"Can I get a ride?"

"What happened to supporting Lara?"

"The woman herself told me to go back with you, if I still could. And I was getting kinda bored, so…"

"If you want," I agree. "Hop in." He smiles at me gratefully and walks around the car and opens the car door, climbing in the front passenger seat.

"Can we get some food first? I'm starved?"

"There's plenty of food at home, Zip."

"Yeah, I know but-"

"I'm not stopping, so if you're that desperate, I suggest you get out and go to the canteen!" I snap

"Jeez, what's up your arse?" he mutters.

"Nothing!" I shout, causing him to flinch. "Nothing," I repeat, calmer. "Look, let's just go home, shall we?"

"Hey, you got the wheel," Zip smiles, being typical Zip. Good…at least something's stable. I take a deep breath and begin moving the car backwards when Zip cries out again.

"Jesus!" I curse, glaring at him. "What is it now?!"

"Where's your ticket?"

"For?"

"It's not a free car park, remember?"

"Try the glove compartment," I suggest. "Now may I move without a sudden brake this time?"

"Well, you know what they say, third time lucky," he smirks. Oh, piss off, Zip.

I cautiously start to drive and am just starting to get into it when-would you believe it-Zip cries out again. "Right, that's it, get out!"

"Wait, dude, look at this!" he exclaims, producing an object from the glove compartment. He opens his cupped hand and shows me. Oh shit… "Were you gonna propose?" he gasps.

"I-I-" I stutter desperately.

"And judging by the lack of ring, she said yes!" Zip cries. "Oh, that's great, man, why didn't you tell us?!"

"Zip, please put it away," I ask him quietly.

"What? But this is huge!" he insists. "Hey, come on, we can't leave, we gotta tell Lara!"

"Who's paying for this bloody ticket?!"

"Well, sorry, but I'm all excited," he gushes. "Hey, can I be best man? Please? I won't be too inappropriate, I promise!" I sigh loudly.

"Just drop it, would you, Zip?" I ask him again, just as quietly, just as calmly.

"But…this is huge!" It's really not, trust me. "Come on, man, lighten up, you're getting married-"

"No, I'm not, Zip!" I yell. "She didn't say yes. She rejected me, she shot me down in front of the entire nursing staff of this godforsaken hospital! That big enough for you?!" I furiously switch the car into gear and move forward. Zip, for once, is quiet.

"When did this happen?" Spoke too soon.

"It doesn't matter," I sigh. "Give me the ticket."

"Alister, you're in no condition to drive, let me?"

"Do you _happen_ to have your license with you?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then you're not driving. Now give me the ticket!" He reluctantly hands it over, but is making a clear point that he's not happy. I ignore him as I place the ticket in the machine and drive through the raised barrier.

"Alister-" Zip begins when we're on the motorway.

"No," I refuse.

"Alister."

"I'm on the motorway, Zip, now is not the time-"

"So pull over, we gotta talk about this."

"No we don't!" I snap. "It is nothing to do with you! It was just a stupid mistake on my part. I misinterpreted the situation and overreacted. _I_ would have rejected me!" Zip opens his mouth, but I stop him; "Don't you dare!"

"You don't know what I was gonna say!" he protests.

"I have a good idea," I mutter.

"But why did you even propose?" he asks incredulously. He won't give it up, will he?

"Well, because I thought she was pregnant and was trying to do the right thing by her, most probably!" I snap sarcastically. "Now will you please just shut up!" Thankfully, he does, and leaves me to drive in peace. Good. I need to concentrate, there's no point getting wound up over this. Not again…

"Thought?" he mumbles to himself. Good grief, now what's he on about? He turns to me. "You said 'thought'."

"Thought what?"

"You said you _thought_ she was pregnant." Oh bugger… I can tell he's not going to let this go. I suddenly swerve into a layby, and park. "Alister, you said-"

"I know what I said!" I snap.

"What do you-?"

"She's not pregnant!" I burst out. "She never was." I wipe a tear away and unbuckle my seat belt, climbing out of the car. I start to walk, heading into the field beyond the road.

Zip is calling me back, but I ignore him. I need to be alone…I can't be bothered.

I can't be bothered with anything now.

* * *

_You want to know, you know what to do-I realise this was longer than 2 weeks, but you should SEE my reading list! Anyways, bye 4 now x13BlacKAnGELsx_


	3. Home Truths II

_Disclaimer: Lalalalalalala (thing used in barbershop quartet) For the twelfth thousandth time, I do not own this! That's all everybody_

_The Third Demi-God: I realise you won't remember your review, but I see what you mean about Alister having a kid...but you didn't really want it to be Marina's did you? Kurtis said he enjoyed his date last night, btw-thanx 4 reviewing!_

_Team-chaser: I love your theories, honey! Keep 'em coming, okay? And I think two pregnancies would have been too much for poor Alister...like he hasn't already got enough going on...ahem-thanx 4 reviewing!_

_Timeless4Life: Ah, the egg of doom. I love that egg! And yes, Zip and Garethpure randomness even we couldn't match...ooh I should write it! Yes! Excellent idea! thanx 4 reviewing!_

_Sweet Christabel: I hugged Zip lots of times for you. And yes, the prodding device-she shall be hunted down. You may use my poking stick if it is your will, my friend. You have my full support-thanx 4 reviewing!_

_jacoblove: Like I would keep her in hospital with a nurse who wants to kill her? Ooh, I should do that...anyways, thanx4reviewing! (and hurry up wiv yours!)_

_A/N I'm really sorry about the long delay, but I got writers block over the summer...then I started A-Levels...but the writer's block is a bit better! Just expect longer update periods because of it but I'm not abandoning this! Nu-uh! Also, everything's been focused on Lara recently, so I dedicate this chapter to our favourite supporting characters, the men-Zip and Alister!_

* * *

_Author's POV_

_It was late at night-around midnight-when he emerged into the fluorescently lit Atrium of the hospital. The area was mostly deserted with only the night secretary at the desk, sipping a black coffee. He nervously approached her and requested the room number of a patient. She raised her eyebrows at his lateness and apparent inconsideration for said patient's feelings, but told him regardless; Room 42 in the short-stay ward._

_He thanked her and-without even asking for directions-headed off down the corridor. She looked after him apprehensively and then sighed. What business of hers was it?_

_He knew these wards well-he should, he'd dated her long enough! And she appreciated being met after work, as she'd told him on the many occasions he had. It made her feel better. Her job was very stressful 'all that death' she'd told him once, forgetting that he, himself, was worried for a loved one._

_He'd come as soon as he'd got the call, with no regard or cares for his work or duties. She came first…she always came first._

_He knew she'd be awake-she loved a fuss! She wouldn't have dared go to sleep, anyhow-she knew him and she knew that he would come to see her, rain or shine, night or day. No matter what._

_Upon reaching Room 42, he raised his hand, only just realising he'd forgotten the obligatory flowers. 'She won't notice,' he told himself, and knocked._

"_Come in," called a voice softly from the other side. He poked his head around the door and, upon seeing her, came in properly. "What, no flowers?" she remarked, in a mock-disapproving tone. "You really let me down this time."_

"_The gift shop was closed," he lied, smiling shiftily. One look told him she knew he was lying, but didn't press it. "So, what have you gone and done this time?"_

"_You mean, what have _you_ gone and done?" she smiled mysteriously. He frowned in confusion._

"_What?"_

_"It's nothing bad," she smirked mischievously. "I'm pregnant!"_

* * *

_Zip's POV_

I did not know Alister could run so fast! He's always full of surprises, isn't he? I don't do well with surprises!

But, oh my God, what he said! What does he mean, she was never pregnant? What, was this some sorta sick joke of his that got outta hand? Or did she make a mistake and he was too embarrassed to tell us?

"Alister!" I call after him, but he ignores me. Whatever, dude, I got the car. I can just follow you…damn, he's got the keys. "Alister, wait up! Come on, we gotta talk about this! Alister!"

Okay, fine, you wanna ignore me, I'll just have to come to _you_.

I turn back to the car-you know to close it, make it _look_ secure so some bastard doesn't steal it-when I see in the ignition, a set of silver, jangling keys. Oh, Alister…you stupid fool.

Sniggering to myself, I climb in and turn the keys. The car gives a great rumble as the engine starts. Putting the gear into reverse, I do a 90 degree turn and face the gap between the bushes head on.

"Ride of your life, dude," I mutter to myself and press down on the accelerator. The car revs and hurtles forward, climbing the teeny slope no problem, although smashing a little tree…eh, there's so many! No-one'll notice!

Keeping a close eye out for Alister, I steer the car into the field, and grin when I see a small figure up ahead. He's very still…either he's resting or someone got him with a stun gun! Man, those things hurt!

I honk the horn as I get closer, driving probably a little too fast. This car does not like this ground-it's too bumpy. What I really need is a tractor…or one of those things with wings…that'd be cool-shit!

I swerve to a very sharp left to avoid the stupid man that stopped in the middle of the field!

"Jesus Christ, Zip!" Alister yells, getting up. That was some dive, dude. It's weird, I didn't have Alister down as a football goalkeeper. He seems more like the guy who'd copy their schedule onto his computer without actually going to the games. "Are you trying to get us _all_ in hospital?! Only in your case, it would be the bloody psychiatric ward!"

"What I'm trying to do is get some answers!" I retort, getting out of the car.

"And killing me is the way to do that?"

"No…shock might work, but…" I trail off, seeing his death glare. He is maaad. "Look, I'm sorry, I sort of lost control, but if you hadn't stormed off…!"

"Or if you'd followed me on foot like a bloody normal person!" he shouts.

"Yeah, well, you run freakishly fast! I'm not Superman!" He frowns at the comparison, but doesn't say anything. I can only be so good, you know! "Now, come on, dude, what's all this about?" I ask a lot quieter. "You can't just tell me that Marina was never pregnant and then just storm off. We gotta talk."

"We don't _have_ to do anything, Zip!" he sighs. "Although can I just point out that if this was Lara, you'd be leaving well alone!"

"Do you have guns on you?"

"I wish I did," he mumbles. "Then maybe I could shoot my own bloody brains out." He flops down to the floor, hanging his head. I have never seen him like this. It's kinda sad.

"Oh, come on, what do you wanna do that for?" I console, taking a seat next to him.

"So I don't feel like such a prick? So I don't feel so embarrassed I want to fling myself from the hospital roof? So I don't-"

"I get the message, Alister," I stop him. He gives me a look-kinda disappointed-and hangs his head again. "What even happened?"

"She was never pregnant, Zip, how much plainer can I get?"

"Well, _how_ did it happen? How do you know? And why did you have an engagement ring?"

"I already _answered _that!" he sighs, frustrated. "I-I wanted to do right by her."

"By proposing?" I ask sceptically. "Dude, this isn't the nineteenth century-you don't need to be married to get knocked up."

"Well clearly my principles are a bit different to yours," he mutters. Well, yeah. If I got my girlfriend pregnant, that wouldn't make me wanna propose, even if I _wanted_ the baby! I'm not saying he should've dumped her or told her to get an abortion…actually, why didn't he just do that? It would've made things a hell of a lot easier!

"_It's her body, it's up to her what she wants to do!__" _is what he said to me. I guess he sorta has a point…

* * *

_Author's POV_

"_You're pregnant?!" he finally gasped. She nodded excitedly, beaming. "But…but how did this even happen?" She sighed, sounding slightly frustrated and amused at the same time._

"_Let me explain it to you one more time," she began as a teacher would address her Sex Education class. "When a man and a woman get close, they have sex. That involves the man putting his penis-"_

"_Okay, okay!" he stopped her hurriedly. "We did it, all right, I don't need it laid out graphically!" She raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes but said nothing. He was one strange man at times, she found._

"_So?" she asked him, looking expectant._

"_So?" he repeated, looking confused. Men!_

"_How do you feel?" she clarified, sitting up properly now. She looked into his eyes-his warm, welcoming chocolate brown eyes-feeling hopeful yet oddly nervous simultaneously._

_How did he feel? How did he feel?! What sort of question was that? He felt a lot of things! He felt fear, he felt a willing to get away from this…and yet he felt oddly excited as well._

"_How do _you_ feel?" he turned the question around._

"_Oh no you don't, I asked you first!" she protested._

'_Damnit!' he thought._

"_I feel…" he began, trying to think of a way to string the words together. She clasped his hand in her own, now looking extremely nervous. He smiled at her. "I feel like this could maybe work out."_

_She gasped. "Really?" He nodded. "Oh my God…oh my God! You really think so?!" He nodded again. She jumped from her bed and pulled him into a deep kiss. "I can't believe it! We're going to be parents!"_

"_I know," he laughed. "And you're happy about it, too?" She nodded vigorously._

"_I feel like…like this is a blessing…"_

…………………………………….

_Zip's POV_

"Even so," I argue. "You probably scared her more than when she took the pregnancy test." Like in a classic comedy, he slowly lifts his head and turns around to face me, pure confusion etched on his face. "What?"

"Zip, did you not hear what I just said?" he asks me, _slowly._

"Yes," I answer, just as _slowly_. "But just because she isn't actually knocked up doesn't mean she didn't take a test. She coulda just read it wrong."

"If you say so," he mutters, but I don't think he really heard me.

"So, did she?" I ask him

"Did she…what?"

"Take a test and get confused?"

"What? Yes-no…I don't know!" he snaps.

"Good-cos, I gotta say, as a nurse, she should know better," I point out. He nods vaguely.

"I don't know if she even…took a test…" he mumbles. I kinda had to strain to hear him.

"Well, obviously she must've-or did she skip a period and just assume?"

"I don't bloody know, Zip! Probably not! In fact, I have a slightly suspicious feeling the bitch had been lying from the very beginning!"

"Why-?"

"To humiliate me! To scare the bloody…living daylights out of me! To-to…to force me to commit so she could then shoot me down in front of the entire intensive care staff!"

"Again, I have to ask-why?" Be a little clearer, would you?

"She knew, Zip!" he cries. "She knew that I cheated on her! She knew that I was in love with Lara and that herself was my 'bit on the side' as she so eloquently put it!"

"What, how-?" I start, but apparently he's not finished.

"She heard us! Do you remember the time when we had that conversation a few days after Lara and I broke up and she'd stayed the night? I thought she'd been in my room the entire time-I went to get breakfast-but apparently not! No, the bitch had to snoop and she heard the entire bloody thing! Wouldn't _you_ be pissed off!" he rants. He takes a deep breath and starts again; "I had it coming, didn't I? This is all my fault really."

"No, no it's not," I argue. "I don't know what she did but if it's got you this upset, then it was bang outta order!"

"Was it?" he asks me feebly, a lot less angry and a lot more upset-sounding. Oh man, the poor guy. Just what the hell did this woman do?!

"Well I don't know!" I cry. "What did she do?"

"She lied, to put it simply, Zip."

"Yeah, about being pregnant! That's pretty serious, Alister!" I point out. "I mean, you were-you were crapping yourself when you first told us!"

_He's hugging his knees to his chest and looks so freaked-it's kinda cute, actually. It just makes you wanna hug him like you would a little kid and tell him it'll all be okay._

"_What can I do?" he asks desperately. "It's her body-it's up to her what she wants to do."_

"_And I'm asking, how would you feel if she did get an abortion?" He shrugs._

"_I don't know. Relieved, I suppose."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yes," he says obviously. "I'm not ready to be a father!"_

Except the thing is, by the time we'd finished, I'm not sure that's how he was feeling. From what I'd gathered, he _did _want to be a father…I mean, duh, he proposed! But I don't think he did it to do 'right by her'. Well, maybe, but also because it's probably what he thought was best for the kid. You know, to have two parents and not be a bastard. I mean, not that it matters-I mean, come on, this isn't the nineteenth century-but Alister said himself, he has different principles.

Principles! I don't know anyone besides Alister who still has 'em! Always knew there was something not right about that dude. You gotta admit it, asking Marina to marry him for the kid was all very sensitive and everything, but it was a little much. They barely know each other! They only slept together once! They knew each other for, what, six weeks at that point? Not exactly the best foundation…

* * *

_Author's POV_

_This was so weird! He'd seen this moment more times on TV than the number of takes it took to make the film, so thought he would be at least _partially _prepared, but no-he was bricking it!_

"_Will you calm down?" she muttered, annoyed. "I'm the one having the sonogram that could tell me my baby is a phantom and you're acting like a kid who's just discovered constipation! You even had the face a moment ago!" He turned and shot her a mock glare but saw she'd not even looked up from her magazine._

"_There's nothing like the support of your loving partner," he muttered._

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Nothing!" he added hurriedly. She frowned suspiciously but then gave up. Either she had decided it just wasn't worth it, he thought, or she had psychically known the gynaecologist was about to call her in._

"_Mrs Cartwright?" She stood up._

"_It's _Miss _Cartwright," she corrected. "We're not married." The gynaecologist nodded._

"_Sorry," she muttered, not really sorry at all. "Would you like to come this way?" She took a deep breath, and headed for the door where Dr Addison had just disappeared._

"_Are you coming?" she asked him._

"_What, you think I'd let you handle that alone?" he said supportively. She shrugged. "I may be scared, but I wouldn't do that."_

"_Well, you also promised you'd put the condoms on right, and look how that worked out!" she smirked, taking his hand._

* * *

"_Well, everything seems to all be in working order," Dr Addison smiled at the couple, swivelling the screen around so as they could see. At the sight of the tiny blue form on the screen that was their baby, they both gasped. Dr Addison smiled to herself again-it was always the new parents who had 'the gasp'. She didn't even need to ask if this was their first._

"_What about the sex?" he asked after a few moments of staring mesemerised at his child._

"_It's too early to tell," Dr Addison explained patiently. "You'll have to wait until a later scan. Miss Cartwright?" She looked up at her, stomach still bared and-honestly-cold from the gel. "Judging by the size of the foetus, I would say you are between three and five weeks along."_

"_And what's my due date?" she asked interestedly._

"_I would say-this is just using my judgement, you understand, we'll get a better calculation next time we meet-but I would predict…late January, early February time?"_

_Cecelia looked at him excitedly, who had been gawping at the screen up until that point._

"_What?" She sighed, though smiling._

"_We're getting a baby! Isn't that great? I really do have life growing inside of me!" He nodded, smiling for her and Dr Addison-who seemed to be frowning at his lack of enthusiasm at one point-but he wasn't convinced. Yes, all was fine now, but what if something went wrong? It was already a miracle she had been able to become pregnant. Their last gynaecologist had told a heartbroken Cecelia only a few months ago it was unlikely she would be able to have children._

_He just felt-after what had happened last year-that a perfectly healthy child was tempting fate a little…_

"_Mr Trent, is everything all right?" Dr Addison asked, interrupting his train of thought._

"_Honey, what's wrong?" Cecelia asked worriedly._

_"Nothing," he promised her. "We're really gonna have a baby!" It was tempting fate, of course it was…but what if, just for once, it actually went right and in less than eight months, he would be cradling the child borne by the woman he loved? _

* * *

_Zip's POV_

"She…she must have been very hurt, to have stooped so low," Alister whispers from nowhere.

"That doesn't matter," I argue. "That's no excuse for lying to you like that!"

"Well what excuse do _I_ have for cheating on her like that?!" he protests.

"Uh…you were in love?" I suggest sarcastically. Still got it, my friends. Just doesn't have quite the same effect when everyone else is doing it…or when I'm in a serious situation like this, that too.

"So? She was right, I should at least have had the guts to own up!"

"Alister, stop blaming yourself here, all right? What she did was wrong. Okay, so you cheated on her-happens everyday. Telling a guy you're pregnant and working them up for nothing-not so common. There are rules and…lines and she went over it." He nods feebly, but I don't think he believes me. Well, gotta start somewhere, right?

Wait a-he had a box, a blue box, to hold a ring in it. And he told me…he was gonna propose-no, wait he _did_ propose, I knew that! And then she rejected him, in front the entire ICU staff…oh…my…God…was that her plan all along? To have him propose-hell, it was probably her idea at one point!-lure him into a false sense of security and then…shoot him down? What a bitch!

"Alister?" I begin.

"What is it now?"

"Did-did you actually propose to her? Got down on one knee and everything?"

"I already told you that, Zip." Oh, Alister, Alister! You just gave her what she wanted!

"But-but why?"

"Oh for God's-how many times, Zip?! I wanted to do right by her-and for my child! I thought she was carrying my baby and I didn't want them to be a bastard! I felt it was the least I could give them! I…I didn't want them to grow up like I did, with some mother turned alcoholic because she couldn't cope and living in some dosshole of a council flat. I wanted to be a good father…"

"But you would have been anyway," I soothe.

"Well, I'll never know now, will I?"

"No, hey, don't say that! This will happen for you, Marina was just a bad 'un!" He raises his eyebrows. What did I say? He shakes his head but says nothing. "You will find someone Alister, someone who you love and who loves you back and who you'll settle down with, have kids with…"

"Yeah, well, I thought I had that," he says sadly.

"With Marina?! You'd known each other six weeks!"

"Not her," he sighs impatiently, putting his head in his hands. Who's he...?

"What?"

"Lara?" he tells me, sounding very sarcastic.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," I mutter shiftily. "But…you know, maybe it could still _be _Lara!"

"What?"

"Well, from what I saw, she was feeling very guilty and I have _never _seen her cry as much as when you guys broke up. Maybe it could still happen." He scoffs.

"I doubt it. Maybe I'm just destined to be…alone. To drift by hazily, occasionally being with a woman, having my heart stomped on until I eventually just…fade away…"

* * *

_Author's POV_

_He caught up with her, sooner than he expected. This hospital was so damn big, he thought it would take him ages to find her! Thank God for designated smoking areas!_

"_Dr Addison?" he called. He saw her over with a group of her colleagues, having a smoke and a laugh. At his call, she looked up and sighed._

"_Catch you later," she muttered to her friends, and walking over to where he was. "Can I help you, Mr Trent?"_

"_What are you last naming me for?" he asked, mock insulted. "You embarrassed to call me Uncle-"_

"_Shh, quiet, will you? People'll hear!" she scolded. "I knew there was a reason I got married!"_

"_Cos you love him so deeply?"_

"_No, cos I don't share the same name as you anymore!" she said, sounding serious. He knew she was kidding, though. He might embarrass her-_very_ occasionally-but she loved him really. "What do you want?"_

"_I saw the look," he explained. She frowned in confusion-what was this freak on about now? "Cecelia's sonogram?" he reminded her. "I saw the look, El-Dr Addison-and I've known you long enough to know that you weren't in deep prayer!" At his words, her face fell even further. She breathed a deep sigh and gripped his arm._

"_Not here," she told him. She led him out of the smoking area as fast as possible, and down several corridors before finally stopping, in what he presumed was her office. Did OBs have offices? He didn't know._

"_What's going on, Ellie?"_

"_I guess you have a right to know," she sighed. "I was talking with some colleagues-before her sonogram-and-"_

"_Which colleagues?" he asked her._

"_The ones on Cecelia's last case," she clarified. "Anyway, they-that is, the consultant who performed her surgery-told me that he didn't think he got it all. That to get it would have meant keeping her under for a further four hours, which he didn't want to do in her weakened condition." He nodded. When she didn't continue, he felt his heart begin to sink-that silence was just as condemning as 'the look.'_

"_Well, what does this mean?" he asked nervously, knowing no good would come of it. She sighed again. That, he knew-from what Cecelia, being a nurse, had told him-was never a good sign. It was always a doctor's way of trying to soften bad news. When you heard the sigh, you knew you were in 'deep shit' as Cecelia herself had eloquently phrased it._

"_They're gonna have to wait for her next scan before being certain of anything. When is that, by the way, in two weeks?"_

"_What does it mean, Ellie?" he repeated. If it was so bad she was changing the subject, he had to know!_

_"It means that there's a high chance it could return...and if it does you will probably have to terminate the pregnancy."_

* * *

_Alister's POV_

"Did you mean it?" he asks out of nowhere. Mean it…why am I getting a flashback of when I told Lara…?

"_Did you mean it?"_

"_Lara, I don't-"_

"_On Thursday night-do you remember it?" I nod. She lifts up her wrist. "While I was unconscious," she begins nervously. "I-I heard you say that-that…that you…loved…" _

"_Did you mean it?" she asks again, trying to stay cool and collected, but I've seen Victoria sponges with more stability than her!_

"_Yes," I finally whisper._

Mean what? That I'm destined to be alone, whilst having my heart stamped on? Until I…give up? I don't know…I'm starting to believe it. I don't want to, of course I don't, but it does seem a bit…ominous that I should have my heart broken twice in two weeks!

I have tried to be a good man, a good person. Yes, there have been times I've slipped up (such as that one time I was in prison for-you don't need to know about that.)

But that's _it_. I've never killed anyone, never intentionally or consciously hurt anyone…well, except my mother…she always said I would get my comeuppance. Actually, what she said was much more colourful but I feel no need to repeat her profanities of rage. Perhaps she was right…perhaps this is my punishment for not having looked after her better…to be a hermit (in regard of women, anyhow) and die alone.

She won't die alone. She'll die with people around her-it won't be very dignified I should imagine, but at least she won't be alone and only discovered when someone who feels sorry for the hermit invites him to a New Year's party, and only then do people gossip and they realise they've not seen head nor tail of me for three months!

Maybe I do deserve this…maybe my mother was right…I'd always had an inkling at the back of my mind, a fear. The fear that it would come true. I know you won't believe me, but that is why I've tried to surround myself with people. Not massive crowds of mates, you know, close friends, ones you have a real intimate relationship with. The sort whose tears at your funeral would be genuine.

I…I suppose that could be why I-I clung to the idea of Marina being the mother of my child. Not because she was the mother, but because it would have been _my_ child. He would have been _my_ son. A son can't reject you, not at that age. I could teach him-not to be like me, that would just be cruel. But I could teach him right from wrong, I could teach him to be loyal, to be a good person. And I would let him know that I would always be there for him. Whether it be for drugs, prostitution or even murder…one phone call from the police station would be enough to take me from my bed and down there in a flash. I would love him…I would have loved him.

"When I proposed," I say quietly, "it wasn't just because I wanted to do right by her." I already have his attention. I don't even need to look up to feel his enquiring yet sympathetic eyes on me.

This is the sort of friend I was talking about earlier. The sort who wouldn't sit in the car and let you have your huff, but who would follow you, not for gossip, but because he cares. I think-well, more hope-that is why he's doing this. I don't want him to be doing this just to relay gossip back to Winston! They're like blood brothers, I tell you, at times!

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't even ask 'why did you?' for the third time!

"I…it didn't matter to me that she would have had to raise the child single-handed if I hadn't," I continue, "nor how hard it would have been for her."

"What mattered to me was my son, growing inside of her. She could have been anyone, Zip-she could have been…Angelina Jolie and it wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference! All I cared about was him-my David-and that he didn't grow up feeling as rejected as I did by _my _father." I pause, and see him gazing at me intently and slightly confused. "So you see, Zip, when I proposed to Marina, it wasn't her I was committing myself to, or even to fatherhood…it was to David."

"I was ready, Zip…I was ready to be his daddy. And then she took him away from me…and I feel as lost and hurt and battered as I would if a court of fucking _strangers_ had ruled me unfit to raise him!" I emit a quiet sob and finally surrender to those tears that I have been holding back for so long.

I was more angry before…I'd never really considered the loss. You probably think me a right wimp. But you try getting attached to a child and then to discover he never existed and not feel this hurt!

Zip doesn't approach me. He doesn't put an arm around me, he doesn't whisper pointlessly that it'll be okay…he leaves me to it. That's good. I think he'd make it worse if he did. I'm not ready for that…not yet. I'm not strong enough.

* * *

_Author's POV_

"_Positive?" She blinked. "What do you mean it's 'positive'?"_

"_The results of the test show that it's come back-metastasized in your lymph nodes," the doctor explained patiently. Cecelia looked over at her partner, who-from her observations-didn't look too surprised. Rather than pressing on this, however-that could wait-she turned back to Dr McCauley._

"_All right," she said calmly. "And what are you gonna do about it?"_

"_The cancer is currently at Stage 2-you were lucky this time, Miss Cartwright. We caught it early enough so surgery should correct it." Lucky? Cecelia smiled ironically-it seemed to her 'lucky' would have been not having this conversation at all! Lucky would be not having this 'positive' result from her scan! Lucky would be never having had it in the first place!_

"_All right, so do that," Cecelia ordered, clutching her stomach protectively._

"_The thing is, Miss Cartwright," Dr McCauley began, in a tone that both mother and father knew all too well. "The surgery would be to remove your lymph nodes-it wouldn't eradicate any cancerous cells in any other part of your body. For that, we would need chemotherapy. But unfortunately, due to your condition," he waved at the swelling on her stomach, "this wouldn't be a viable option, unless you had a termination. The chemotherapy wouldn't allow the baby to survive."_

"_Well couldn't you just do the surgery, I'll take a risk!" she pleaded desperately._

"_Even surgery would be putting _both_ of you at risk, due to the pregnancy," he explained. "And it's got a much lower success rate anyhow-"_

"_I'd have the chemo later, after the birth!" she said somewhat fiercely. She turned away from the doctor and to the man who had been silent the entire time. "We can do that, can't we, honey?" He looked back at her, and one look told her that he didn't think it was a good idea. "Why aren't you more shocked by this?" she accused him. "Did you already know?"_

"_I-" he stuttered. "Well, Ellie told me-"_

"_Ellie? Who the fuck is Ellie?"_

"_Dr Addison-your OB? She's my niece, Cecelia, remember?"_

"_So, why did she tell you and-and not me?" Cecelia asked him, sounding betrayed. This was _her_ body they were talking about, surely she had more right to know first than anybody!_

"_I went looking for her, after your appointment. I knew something wasn't right and she told me."_

"_That the cancer could return?" He nodded grimly. "And why you didn't you tell me?"_

"_I didn't want to get you wound up for nothing-" he protested._

"_For nothing?! This is our baby we're talking about, our _baby! _Don't you care about that?"_

"_Cissy, of course I do, but the stress of waiting wouldn't have done you or the baby any good!"_

"_Yeah, cos the cancer's just rocking on!" she spat. She turned back to Dr McCauley, who had kept completely silent during the encounter. "Isn't there _anything_ you can do that could save my baby?"_

"_Like what, Miss Cartwright?"_

"_Like…I dunno, a drug that could keep me in remission, just until after the birth! It's only five months away."_

"_Miss Cartwright, if such a drug existed, I can guarantee, I would've had it sent to your door!" Dr McCauley assured her. "But unfortunately, the only drug available-in so many words-is currently being tested. Prescriptions to patients are strictly prohibited. We have no idea of measuring the side-effects, you see."_

"_Oh, for the love of God, don't you have _anything?!_" she cried, "that could save my baby! I don't care about me, I just want to save my baby!"_

"_Cecelia, no!" her partner protested. She turned away from the doctor and gazed at him, earnest and fear written all over his face._

"_This isn't your decision," she told him sternly, yet sadly. She looked back to the doctor. "I'll wait," she declared, as if that were the end of the matter._

"_Miss Cartwright, I really wouldn't advise-"_

"_Screw you," she whispered. "You're not the one having to choose between yourself and your baby. Even if I go ahead with treatment, there's no guarantee that I would survive again. I've been battling this cancer for four years-"_

"_You've also beaten it three times already, Miss Cartwright," Dr McCauley pointed out._

"_And maybe I'll beat it again-but I'd rather get fat and happy and then die rather than thin, sick and miserable. I've made my decision. I'm keeping the baby and I'm gonna wait till it's born." She nodded, as if trying to assure herself of it as well._

"_Mr Trent?" Dr McCauley turned to him. "How do you feel about all this?"_

"_If Cecelia wants to wait…then I'm gonna wait with her." She smiled gratefully at him and took his hand; _

"_We'll battle this together, right?" she asked him later. He nodded._

_"I promise."_

* * *

_Zip's POV_

"Hey," I say in a soothing manner, after a few minutes. "I know how you feel, dude."

"Know how I feel?" he repeats disbelievingly. "How in the whole-bloody-world can you know how this feels? Are you taking the piss out of me, Zip?!"

"No," I answer seriously, but quietly. "I've also lost a baby-and I know how much it hurts." He looks at me as if in shock; then confused; then disbelieving.

"W-what?!" he exclaims. I gotta say, that was _way_ too predictable!

I don't say this, though. I open my mouth and-out of nowhere, it feels like-some voice that sounds a lot like mine, starts to talk.

* * *

_Right yes, there it is. So if you could be absolutely lovely and press that small button to the left, would much appreciate it! lolx!_


	4. The Calm Before The Storm

* * *

_Timeless4Life: I'm still a jellybean of dom, huh? As opposed to dooooom? I'm disappointed in you, I must say. And if you kill me with the large poking stick, I shall take away Orlando's, if you catch my drift. And Kurtis says 'thanks for everything' but he thinks he'll settle down now. (not mentioning names, but shift your eyes north slightly...) lolx-thanx 4 reviewing, jellybean!_

_jacob love: Cheers, mate. And about Mr Trent being Kurtis-you'd think, wouldn't you? More on Cecelia in some point later on. lolx-thanx 4 reviewing_

_Sweet Christabel: Uh, yes! 42 is extremely relevant...(coughs) And Zip appreciated his hug, and says that if he wasn't gay, he'd have been plaguing you with come-ons right about now. Leave it up to you decide if that's a good thing or not. lolx-thanx 4 reviewing_

_BLACKCAT1393: Yay, new reviewer! Well, you know the deal-new reviewer, extra chocolates!_

_Team-chaser: Took you long enough-but I'll forgive you, because you've given me some great ideas! And I'm not exactly fastest updater so we'll call it even, yes? Yes? Good! lolx-thanx 4 reviewing_

_thenightwithin: First off, love your name too! Second, no you didn't review last time, but the aliens stole your computer, so you couldn't really, could you? lolx-thanx 4 reviewing! (btw, I had nothing to do with those aliens!)_

_A/N Haha! It's finally here! I am so sorry it took so long! I won't do the spiel cos I've done it since the start. Also, because of your patience-aliens for all!!!!_

* * *

_Author's POV_

_They drove home in silence. Well, not so much drove as were towed. Thanks to Zip's prank with the car, a branch had somehow caught up in the engine when he'd knocked the tree over and obviously, the engine wouldn't start. It took all Alister's control not to seize him and shake him and try to strangle him!_

_When they got back to the house, they went their separate ways-Alister to the kitchen, Zip to his computers. 'Checking my e-mails,' he'd told Alister, but Alister knew it was a lie. Zip just wanted to be alone. Alister knew the feeling-after Marina's 'prank' on him, he'd not gone near anyone for days. He'd remained cooped up in the library…not that they really noticed the difference._

_It was soon a full house again as Lara was discharged from hospital a few days after. They celebrated with a specially cooked meal from Zip, but no-one really felt particularly festive-and Lara's stomach couldn't cope with that sort of food so soon after her operation. Most of it was wasted and thrown away._

* * *

_**New York City**_

_Since the words 'yes, you can move in', this horrible feeling-the sort bad premonitions are made of-had enveloped its way into her stomach. She was never going to have turned him down-even though she had been in the middle of interviewing prospective roommates at the time, and one had been present-she owed him too much. And he was her friend…she just wished he wasn't quite so annoying sometimes!_

_Mind you, she had her moments. He'd never say anything-mainly because she often had a heavy object in reach of her at the time!-because he was too sweet. And because it was technically her apartment. He wasn't exactly a freeloader, he did contribute to the rent, but she probably had a much harder time keeping up than if she'd taken on an actual adult! She didn't complain, though, which sometimes surprised him. It was the little things that irked her usually-the big crises she could just sail through. And she did have to laugh at some of his antics, despite herself. Him searching and knocking on everyone in her entire building because he couldn't find her buzzer was just a classic! He'd claimed it was because he thought her last name would be 'Rutland' and that he was so confused! She wanted to point out if she did rely on her father, her apartment would be on Fifth and way bigger than this one, but she didn't have the heart. Seeing his goofy yet pleased-to-see-you face just made her smile._

_They had been living together for a few weeks now. It wasn't exactly much to go by, to judge, but they found it was working okay, despite he didn't have a steady job and she was studying at NYU. Although she never admitted it, James did help her out with her student fees occasionally-only when it was really scraping, though. Kurtis marvelled at her financial handling sometimes, being of course blissfully unaware of the help she sometimes received._

_She was currently preparing for a field trip-it sounded so high school! she thought-that would involve excavating on a genuine archaeological dig site. It was to take place in Mexico, amongst Mayan ruins. Most of their work would involve analysis-not the actual digging-but it would serve very useful for her dissertation in two years._

_There was another thing that lingered on both their minds, though…something they never spoke of. For Kurtis, it was constant contemplation of his very hasty and sudden departure, and he was still unsure as to whether he'd made the right decision or not…_

_For Lily, it was what had taken place at the funeral in Bolivia, hoping that it wasn't Lara trying to let her down gently, and that maybe she'd call…and cursing herself for being too much of a coward to pick the damn phone up and dial herself._

* * *

_**Three months later, November 5**_

_Lara's POV_

It was such a ceremony! I actually felt rather proud, seeing him up there, finally being awarded his dissertation. It's a pity they don't do speeches-I would love to have seen him fluster over his words because he was so excited.

Naturally, we went out that night-we gave Winston the night off from preparing a gourmet meal and invited him along. He tried to protest, but Alister pointed out that it was very difficult to concentrate and study in a messy library or bedroom. He does try very hard to flatter, you can't deny him that. Winston actually blushed a little bit, bless him, and then graciously accepted our invitation. We all tried to ignore the fact that when he came down in his suit he still looked like the butler. I suppose it's my fault for not dressing him down with uniform.

It's rather fitting, that it was yesterday actually. It gives Zip yet another excuse to show off his fireworks 'skills'. This year he doesn't have to just claim it's tradition (mainly because I've always bested him by saying it's an _English _tradition, and as he was American, he shouldn't care-he does it anyway, of course. I suppose we should just be thankful he doesn't want to do it at American Thanksgiving as well), he can claim it's for Alister, who 'finally grew up'. I don't what Alister would have done if he'd have heard him, but he's been positively unflappable lately, so he'd probably take it in good spirits.

Of course, you need to understand, by fireworks, I don't just mean the stupidly overpriced mini rockets you find in corner shops-oh no, he comes back with entire boxes of them! Every year I've had to hire a professional to stop Zip from frying himself!

Oh dear lord, he's really overdone it this time…

"Zip, what the _hell_ is that?!" I gasp as he comes through the door, pushing a trolley.

"It's a cart-I got it from the supermarket. It was hard to fit in the car, I gotta tell you," he replies cheerfully, parking it.

"More the point, Zip-_why_ the hell do you have it?"

"Cos their bags are weak and they don't do boxes," he explains, like it's perfectly normal to steal trolleys from your local Tesco! "Don't be mad-this is for our special guy! Would you really ruin his special night?"

"His special night was yesterday," I point out. "We went out for dinner, remember?"

"That's what you do when you turn twelve!" he scoffs. "This is a _big _thing, Lara-after fifteen years, he's finally a man."

"So, then, by your definition-in that he needs a PhD to 'be a man'-what does that make you? You barely scraped your high school SATs." With this he dramatically puts his hands on his hips, frowning.

"Whoa, whoa! First of all…I didn't know that you knew that." I snigger. "And second…this is England!"

"So?" I scoff.

"So the rules are different. I'm cool-that makes me a man here!"

"Okay…" I mutter, trying to figure it out, but honestly, could you? "So, Alister finally getting his PhD-that makes him cool now?"

"You know what, I shoulda known I couldn't explain this to you!" He starts pushing the trolley forward again.

"Why, because I'm making you see how ridiculous it is?" I call after him. I hear him huff, and mutter 'women!' but other than that he ignores me. That man just gets stranger and stranger.

It is only then I notice where he is headed…

"Zip, watch out for the ste-!" Too late. A loud clattering and clanging echoes through the hall as what sounds like a trolley full of fireworks crashes down the stone steps through the door. I check to see if Zip fell with them.

"I'm okay-I'll just get the cart!" he calls. I sigh loudly and close the door on him. It's a wonder how he's been living here for God knows how many years, and yet every time, he always manages to drop the fireworks down those steps. I suppose we should be grateful he remembers in time to stop himself-thankfully, that all stopped after year five.

"Is everything all right, Lady Croft?" Winston asks me in a huskier-than-usual voice.

"I'm fine, Winston-where's the Yellow Pages?"

"I believe they are under the coffee table-why do you ask?"

"It's November 5, Winston," I remind him, stooping.

"Oh, of course," he realises. "Which company are you going to try this time?"

"Well, after last year's escapade, it'll probably have to be a Welsh one," I mutter, finally rifling it out. I rise and pick up the cordless on the table. You won't believe it, seriously. The poor man didn't stand a chance! He was just trying to do his job and then Zip-in true plonker style-decided to 'help him out'. I'm not going to go into the gory details, but let's just say the poor sod ended up in hospital with third-degree burns and was in a wheelchair for four months! Not to mention his wife would never bear another child, if you see what I mean.

"Why, are they naïve to company gossip?"

"No, just naïve to the English language," I mutter. "Now how do you say 'hello' in Welsh?" He raises his eyebrows as I place the phone to my ear. I know what he means-of all the languages I know, my Welsh is slightly shaky at times. I once tried to say thank you and ended up offering the man my services for prostitution. I just know we'll end up with a goldfish seller!

* * *

"Did anybody order a fish?" Winston calls much later, sounding confused yet very, very amused at the same time. What did I tell you?

"Cool, we're getting a fish?" Zip exclaims excitedly, going to the door. "What is it?"

"A goldfish, a goldfish, a goldfish," I whisper under my breath.

"I would say by the colouring-and the label-that it's a goldfish…not exactly what you were after, was it, Lady Croft?" he asks me, raising his eyebrows again.

"I told you Zip should have made the call!" I protest, laughing. Zip doesn't hear me, though-he's too busy pruning after the poor fish. Winston mutters a quick thank-you to the man at the door (who is also laughing by now) and takes the bowl with the fish in it. "Did he really come from Wales?" I gasp in disbelief.

"No-by good fortune, the company had a contact who worked in the local pet shop," Winston replies. "They were a little confused by your request for a goldfish, but then, that is their old trade."

"Seriously?"

"Yes-they switched because they thought it was a dying business, so they were quite heartened to see that are still some of them out there." I snort, and burst out laughing.

"I'm gonna call him Rex," Zip mutters, taking the bowl. "Can I keep him, Lara-please?!"

"Yes, Zip, you can have the fish," I sigh. I look over at Winston and can't suppress another laugh.

"What's the joke?" Alister asks from the entrance to the kitchen.

"Lady Croft just put through an order…only it went slightly awry," Winston smirks. Alister frowns in confusion, but then notices Zip, who's still craning his neck to get a better look.

"Is that-is that a fish?" he says disbelievingly. Zip nods vigorously.

"His name's Rex!" he tells him proudly. "And Lara says I can keep him!" Alister looks over at me.

"Zip, why don't you take…Rex to your room?" God, I sound like his mother! Like a child, though, he bounds (careful of the bowl) off.

"Is someone going to explain…no wait, don't tell me, it's November 5!" Alister bursts out, then looks confused. "Did you get him the fish to distract him?"

"No," I admit embarrassedly. "I was trying to order a professional fireworks displayer-"

"And yet you ended up with a fish?" Alister says sceptically.

"The company was Welsh, and my Welsh is a bit shaky-but in my defence, they are an old goldfish trading company, so what I asked for wasn't completely unrelated!"

"Only if the displayer sends his pet fish ahead of him!" Alister snorts. "I can't believe you did that, Lara."

"Yes, well, you can stop laughing because you may have made a very interesting point."

"And what's that?"

"Well, with 'Rex' to distract him, I don't need the firework people-saved me a hell of a lot of money!" I lie back on the sofa, feeling strangely triumphant. Well, I may not have got _exactly_ what I set out for, but if they offer the same service of not allowing Zip to fry himself, I'd say I clinched quite a good deal.

* * *

_Winston's POV_

November 5…it always used to be such a quiet day. Amelia Croft was a very festive woman-she would often have fireworks on hers and Lara's birthdays, but not Richard. He hated the things. I will admit, most of us thought he was just a bit of a miser about celebrations in general, but then we realised it set off his epilepsy. It never affected him except when fireworks were near him.

He would condone them, for Amelia's sake, but he himself would always remain inside. It was a pity really-were it not for his condition, I believe he may have enjoyed them immensely. Lara always loved them. She would have chased them, if her mother let her! I suppose you could say she loved danger even then. It was probably just childish innocence, though, that we thought she would grow out of…well, we were very wrong about that, as you can well see.

After Amelia's 'passing' however, it all stopped. Richard could apparently bear them for his wife but not for his daughter. We thought it was because it would be too painful, and would remind him of Amelia. Our instincts weren't too good, though-he _was_ just being a miser in that case. Still, it was his estate, his rules, and we had to respect them-even Lara.

I won't deny that they were missed, come Bonfire Night and New Year's Eve. The drama, the chaos…and then those wondrous displays of light and colours that made it all seem worth it. Especially the look on Lara's face when they started. Amelia herself said it made all the hassle worth it, just seeing the face of her little girl light up like that.

Now, however, it's just drama and chaos. Lara does still enjoy them, but there's something very unlike anything other that a child can capture in their expression-that innocence mixed with sheer joy and excitement. Of course, after the first year, she's had to be on her toes. I know Zip-I wish I knew his real name!-means well but he is a bit of a disaster area at times. What once was a day I cherished and looked forward to upon the turn of the month has now become so it is a chore-hiring the professional, keeping Zip from 'trying to help'-that poor man last year! Oh, it was dreadful!-and just generally trying to keep him alive! I have numerous times offered to help, to save Lara the trouble, but she always turns me down. She says I go far beyond my duties already. It would be no trouble, I keep trying to tell her, but still she refuses. She doesn't want to see the old man hurt, I suppose.

"Yo, Winston!" the aforementioned Zip calls to me. "Whatcha think?" He points to something on the ground, and I see his first rocket, at a very questionable angle.

"I'm not entirely certain that's the best position for it," I tell him. Don't tell Lara-before the professional arrives, I always go outside against her wishes, simply to keep Zip from setting himself-or the house-alight with a stray firework. If you knew the story of year three, you would understand.

It was ghastly at the time, although now I think you will find it rather funny.

Zip, after having placed the rocket on the ground almost identically to the one he just has-at such an angle it would slip along the grass as opposed to flying into the air-completely ignored my advice about changing it, and in the end, I simply surrendered. That year, being one of the earlier years before the incident, Lara had asked me to assist him, as we seemed to be 'getting on so well'. Well, the man did amuse me with his quirks and he took an interest in my war days, so I suppose we were friends, and it was all I could do to at least try to stop him from hitting the house.

At first, it all went rather successfully. Even her guest, Dr Warrington, dared to venture out. The display was nicely choreographed for one who had had no experience in the area and all had gone well…until the bloody fool lit the rocket at the questionable angle. Needless to say, his idea of having it fly just above the hedges neatly failed. Instead-as I had predicted-it began to fly much lower…across the ground.

By this time, Lara and Warrington had retreated back inside, ignorant of the last firework. And it did seem to be behaving docilely enough, just heading for the bushes until it decided to turn around. That's presumably when the excited smile of Zip's finally left his face.

There I was on the terrace, minding my own business, when I suddenly this dark figure run by me on the grass, as if being chased. It turned out he was-by a firework. Every S-turn he did, I swear on my life the firework followed him!

"Winston!" he'd called for me. "Do you think you could help me out here?" I wasn't exactly certain how, but if I'd just left them to it, no doubt it would have caught him up eventually and chosen _then_ to explode, which wouldn't have been very good. It was all I could do to suggest that he simply took cover. I half-expected a sarcastic remark from him, but it turned out he'd actually not considered that before…how he's not dead yet, one can only wonder. It's a good thing they want brains for army recruits these days or he'd probably be a fallen soldier on the training day! It's not that really he lacks brains, he is a computer genius, but he doesn't seem to have a lot of common sense!

Anyhow, after being chased by the rogue firework for a few more minutes, he finally took cover…into the fountain. The man actually dove into it, and cried; "Eew, this is wet!" after. By that point, I wouldn't have been surprised if the firework jumped in after him.

But then Lara put an end to its liberty with a very well aimed shot at it, causing it to explode. Zip had had enough sense to crawl to the other side of the fountain then-a good thing probably, or he would have fallen victim to the little cupid atop the fountain. It was too small to have done damage, although it may have knocked some sense into him, I suppose.

It was after that incident Lara began hiring professionals, but I don't know what she's going to do about this year. No English company will do business with her and the only Welsh one in her book sold her a fish. No one with any dignity would call back.

So guess who was on the phone attempting to speak Welsh in (though for reasons I can't fathom, sounding very Scottish) on their mobile? No, no, not me! Alister-I don't think he quite knew what he was letting himself in for when she asked for the favour, but to reject her after saying you'd do it has resulted in many disputes in her past, and no one doubted intra-house relations would be different. Except there may be less guns involved.

I must admit, I did have a chuckle to myself as I heard him flustering in Welsh before I came out to check on Zip.

* * *

_Alister's POV_

"This isn't working, Lara," I mutter angrily as I've been put on hold for the sixth time!

"Maybe your accent's wrong and they can't understand you," she suggests through smirking lips.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I accuse, glaring at her. "I've finally got a PhD, something I can be proud of, and now you're just finding ways to make me feel like a prat! This is a conspiracy between you and Zip, isn't it?" I cry, pointing my finger accusingly. And I notice she hasn't stood up the entire time-laughing too much I suppose, I wouldn't know. I haven't been looking at her…I get really uncomfortable when someone looks at me when I'm on the phone, especially when it's a different bloody language!

Why does no-one in Wales speak English?!

"Oh, come off it, you sound as ridiculous as Zip!" she laughs.

"No, I do not…Zip probably doesn't know what conspiracy means," I mumble, to which she agrees, laughing again.

"Oh, yes, hello? Is-I mean-ydy rhywun 'na?" **(1)** Thank God for my Welsh relatives-well, they're not strictly Welsh, but they lived in Wales for all their married life and if you wanted to talk to them, you had to speak Welsh as well. I'm not fluent, but I know enough to tell the difference between a firework and a goldfish!

"_Da ddiwrnod, syr, fel chyfnerthwn 'ch?" _**(2)**

"Do, Carwn at chyfloga n' 'firework' arlunydd, blesio." **(3)**

"_Carech at chyfloga 'fireworks', syr?" _**(4)**

"Na, 'n broffesiynol 'firework' arlunydd," **(5)** I correct, sighing. None of them understand what I want!

"_Fi m 'n chwith, syr, gwisga t ddeal."_**(6)**

"Areithi Saesneg?" **(7)** I try in a desperate attempt.

"Yes," the woman answers in a strong Welsh accent. As she says this, I look over at Lara questioningly. Well she doesn't seem to be laughing at some very funny practical joke of hers by making me speak Welsh…

"One moment, please," I mutter into the receiver, and then lower it from my ear, cupping the mouth piece. "Lara?" She looks up, looking perfectly ignorant to my next question. "Did you ever actually ask them if they spoke English?"

Her eyes widen at my words. "Ask them if they spoke English?" she scoffs. I look at her sceptically and her face reddens as an embarrassed smile lights it up. She clears her throat. "No, I never actually got round to that bit."

"So you mean to tell me you ordered a goldfish, then recruited me to have a very awkward conversation in Welsh…because you never thought to ask if they spoke English?" This _is_ something Zip would do!

"Well, if it helps, you sounded very fluent," she adds, smiling hopefully at me. I raise my eyebrows and press the receiver to my ear again. I was wrong before-not Zip…not Zip, just Lara, complicating things. There'd be no challenge otherwise.

* * *

_Lara's POV_

Do you know, I always had myself down as one for having common sense. You know, knowing to say 'no' to drugs and underage sex and…just about everything, according to my father's rules.

But what I did earlier…God, that was something Zip would have done! He's the sort to jump in and order a goldfish as long as the conversation was in Welsh rather than simply asking if someone spoke English! Had it been any other language, it would have been no problem! French, Spanish, Japanese…so after all that, it seems a bit unfair I should struggle with what is supposedly a dead language. Mind you, it didn't stop me with Latin and God-knows how many other ancient languages.

I suppose it just never occurred to me to ask. When my father had me tutored in all of these different languages, you would have sounded more stupid asking if they spoke English than if you'd just started saying some rather ridiculous things in the native language. Actually, in most countries, it would have been considered rude to ask if they spoke English.

Nowadays, though, it's a second language to them. I've seen plenty of Europeans babble away in their first language to one another, their phone rings and then they start talking in English, just like that. It just never occurred to me, is all.

But anyway, thanks to Alister's common sense, we finally got the professional. For once, Zip actually took it in good spirits. He usually goes off in a little huff, muttering about how we don't trust him and think him incompetent. But apparently I've made up for it this year by getting him Rex. I didn't have the heart to tell him Rex was an accident. I can just imagine the argument that would ensue;

"_Right, so you mean to tell me that Rex, my little buddy who I love, was an accident?!"_

"_You've had him for five minutes, Zip!"_

"_That doesn't mean he hasn't got feelings! I mean, for the love of God, at least wait until he's old enough to understand!"_

By which point I would probably hit him over the head with his favourite firework, setting off yet more 'moral debates'. Believe me, it just wasn't worth it.

No, maybe I'm being unfair. Then again…it seems, with the really big things, that actually matter-like when your best friend gets rushed to hospital for almost drowning-he can take it in his stride. He can act mature, give you a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold. You couldn't ask for a more devoted friend then. But with the small things-like Rex being an accident-he would just blow it out of proportion. I don't know if he does it deliberately in a feeble attempt to amuse us or himself or if he really doesn't know that he's being ridiculous. I gave up on him a long time ago (or at least I told myself that) but there are still times he amazes me so much I just have to snap out of my indifference and contradict him. It's not only me, though-Winston despairs of him sometimes, as well, only he's much more disciplined in simply letting Zip get on with it. I guess being in the services for nearly two generations of the Croft family teaches you those little things. Especially with my father around…after mother…

I've sought refuge on the balcony this evening. Zip gets out of control and over-excited with a professional around at the best of times. One who speaks very little English and with the strongest Welsh accent I've heard is just plain suicide to remain in the garden. And coming from me, that is _very_ rich!

Besides, I'll probably get a better view up here. All I've ever been able to see when I've been in the garden was a few showers of sparks, too high up to really appreciate it.

"Mind if I join you?" a voice asks from behind me. I don't even need to turn to know it's Alister.

"Be my guest," I reply, turning around to smile at him. I quickly shift back, though-there are some smirks you just can't suppress.

In that small glimpse I had of him before turning back to face where the fireworks would at any moment be, I saw that not only did he have on the sort of coat that only a polar expedition could justify, but also wearing a big woolly hat, what look like Winston's leather gloves and a rather dashing scarf. He is going to boil in that! It's a surprisingly warm November, with a temperature of maybe 20 degrees?

I swear he goes as overboard about winter clothing as Zip does with fireworks!

"What's with all the layers, Alister?" I ask innocently as he stops to stand beside me. "You look like a trifle."

"Well excuse me for dressing sensibly!" he retorts, shivering. How can he be _shivering?! _"I have a little more sense than you, Lara. As I recall, you once went to the Tibetan Himalayas wearing only a bomber jacket to keep you warm!" I smile at the memory. It was rather cold, I must admit. I certainly didn't make the same mistake when I went to Nepal! But in my defence, I was in a race against Italian mafia so didn't really have time to pop home for a quick trouser change. I had to make do.

"One of the drawbacks of adventuring," I admit. "You never can know when you're going to be forced from an Offshore Rig in the Persian Gulf to Tibet. It doesn't really leave you much time to pack a spare pair of trousers."

"I still think you're mad."

"Well I think you're petty."

"What, for pointing out the truth?" he protests, accompanying it with a dramatic gesture. I sigh. This is such a stupid argument!

"Why are you here, Alister?" I ask quietly. He shrugs.

"To keep you company, I suppose."

"Yeah?" He shrugs again. Still as loquacious in front of women as ever.

"Why not?" he mumbles somewhat uncomfortably, looking away from me shiftily. "Anyway, it's either you or hearing Zip raving on about how he'd 'like to help' the nice firework man."

"Oh my God, he isn't, is he?" I gasp, laughing at the memory of last year. I shouldn't really…but the idea of it is quite funny. "I knew I should have got a leash for him."

"Wouldn't have worked," Alister mutters. "He'd have probably got the fish to gnaw at it for him." I snort at this. "I'm surprised he hasn't got it down there with him to enjoy it as well."

"No," I contradict. "He has enough of a brain to know Rex would struggle to breathe outside the bowl and enough fondness of him to miss him if a firework was misaimed." I sigh deeply. It's been one hell of a year! And it's still not over…I know only two months is left but a lot can go wrong in two months-for God's sake, a lot went wrong in two _hours_ once!

I look over at Alister, a pang punching at my heart as I take him in. He's still got those orange glasses. Do you know, I don't think I've seen him take them off once! At least…apart from when he's in bed, of course. But even when he comes down to breakfast, he always has them on! I actually tried them on once, and know they're not just oddly shaded spectacles-they're just for pleasure. Whatever floats your boat, I suppose.

I…I still miss him sometimes. I know, I know, it was my own stupid fault for having no control of my bloody emotions but I _miss_ him! He was really good for me…he cared. He…I…I don't know what I'm saying. I don't think I've ever felt this way before. I think of him, and I start to smile…but then it fades as I realise he's not there for me anymore. At least not in such a way I would have a boyfriend shoulder to cry on. It was nice, having that. I think, for the first time in my life, I actually felt…I felt real guilt. It's a strange thing to want to feel, but there have been times when I've thought I must be completely heartless and soulless. It was almost a reality check to know I could actually _feel_ anything except anger, resentment and determination to achieve the impossible.

I felt affection, I felt connected to him…there's only been one other man I've felt that for, hasn't there? It's just so-unfair-that they had to clash with each other.

I've never been much of a believer of fate or God, but I do sometimes get the feeling that something up there is having a right laugh and a lot of fun putting me in all these predicaments! I always thought people were exaggerating when they said relationships were so hard they would rather…battle a dragon than go through with it, say. But now, give me a trap-filled temple any day.

I feel Alister place his jacket over me, and have only just noticed I'm bloody freezing!

"Thanks, Alister," I smile gratefully, though half-tempted to give it back. I didn't even feel the cold, what do I need it for?

"Can't have you freezing to death, can we?"

"I assure you, I've felt worse."

"Maybe, but we don't want to send you back to hospital with pneumonia because of your being a little stubborn, do we?" Why's he talking like this? I'm not three!

I simply shrug though, my breath steaming in front of me. When did it get so cold?

See, this is exactly what I'm talking about! I didn't feel it! I never feel it…

"Alister?" I begin quietly, timidly. He turns to me, looking expectant, smiling encouragingly. I'm glad someone's feeling confident…I don't know even know what I'm saying-

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"What for?" he smiles confusedly. Feeling myself start to shiver again-but not through cold-I look up at him, and into his eyes (as best as I can through his glasses anyway), his warm, inviting chocolate brown eyes.

How can he be so…_fine _around me? After what I did? Do men just not like to linger around that sort of thing? Is Alister unique or does he just…not care anymore? Maybe he's moved on…well, that should make this next bit easier.

After a long pause, I finally take a deep breath and say clearly; "For Kurtis."

* * *

_Alister's POV_

"For Kurtis," she finally whispers. Kurtis…I haven't thought about that prick in a long time. Well, I haven't had reason to, have I? I mean, I _thought_ my girlfriend was pregnant…and then discovered she wasn't. Bitch.

And besides, we've had a lot of work to do! What sort of professional would I be if I dwelt on the past? I'm an archaeologist, it's not my job to dwell on the past...well, not so recent a past anyway. It's stuff like ancient scrolls and artefacts and civilizations and languages possibly related to said ancient scrolls I've had to focus on.

"What about it?" I ask boredly. I must admit, I wish she'd get over it. She's said she's sorry a million times! I've let it go-I let it go ages ago! I had to, what with Marina…and all that work. It doesn't mean I've forgiven her, or would ever consider taking her back! I mean, me and her together, we didn't exactly make sense, did we? From the start I said that.

"I…well, what I did was wrong, it was horrible, you didn't deserve it, I-"

"Lara, for God's sake," I sigh irritably, but she ignores me.

"I can't get it out of my mind sometimes, I lie awake, I-"

"Well, don't," I tell her. "Stop obsessing over it-I have!" No, wait, that was wrong, wasn't it? "Not that I ever obsessed in the first place," I add hastily. "But the point is-get over it. You don't need to keep apologising, I don't _want_ you to keep apologising-"

"But-" she tries to interrupt, raising her fisted hand slightly, as if it will shut me up. This isn't the telly, sweetheart.

"No, no buts!" I tell her fiercely. "Just stop it, Lara, all right, it was four months ago! Count them, four! I don't want to discuss it, I don't want to reminisce, I don't even want to think about it!"

"I'm just trying-"

"Well, don't! If you really want to 'just try', you'd stop mentioning it!" I sigh. She looks a bit hurt at my comments and has turned away from me, looking down at the floor uncomfortably. Oh Jesus. Wrap it up, Dr Fletcher-I love saying that!-or it could get nasty!

"Hey," I say in a more gentle tone, lifting her chin up with my fingers so her amber eyes meet mine. "I know you're just doing what you think is right, but honestly, you've done enough. You've apologised so often it could fill a bible. And I don't want you to be lying awake at night feeling guilty, because I'm not. I've moved on, Lara-I think you should, too. Yeah?" For a long while, she doesn't say anything, but wraps her arms around me.

Down below, I can hear the banter of the displayer setting up; of Winston attempting to distract Zip and vainly succeeding in refraining him from 'helping'; of Zip exclaiming at some of the doubtlessly more impressive rockets. Despite all that, they all seem to be having a great time down there.

And then there's us…Lara and I…me and Lara…it was never going to be quite the same again, was it? Even if we hadn't ended on such horrible terms, once you cross that line from friends to lovers, it is impossible to go back to exactly how it was. I know we can both _act_ nonchalant and cool and casual in front of each other, with each other, but frankly, I think we deserve Oscars for our performances!

I mean, I _am _over it…I suppose you could say I've gone so far as to forgive her for it, but things will never be the same. We've…we've kissed passionately, we've seen each other naked, we've had sex…you just can't feel the same about someone again after such a relationship. It's not just me, it's…universal. Once you've been in that sort of relationship, it's hard because when all you can ever do is hug and kiss platonically, sometimes, you can't help but think back to when you were able to touch them so much deeper, emotionally and physically.

God, listen to me ramble on! I am so sorry…Jesus, you'd think I still have…feelings for her…

Well…some things are hard to let go of.

"I suppose you're right," Lara whispers from what seems like miles away. Snapping back, my eyes once again focus on hers. I'm right…what am I right about?

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I suppose you're right," she repeats, moving from the hug. "I should move on. I mean, you clearly have." She shrugs her shoulders and wraps her arms around herself, shivering.

"Lara, it's not that cold," I point out, watching her. She only shrugs and untangles herself. Have I really made her so uncomfortable? This will sound unbelievably shallow and vain, but I did _not _know I had it in me! "But, hey," she begins, catching my eye. "I think it's great you've moved on. I'm happy for you, you really…it's very mature of you."

"Well I am 38," I point out, smiling. She returns it, also laughing weakly.

"Even so," she continues in a bubbly voice. "You're in a great place right now! I'm really happy for you, you deserve it!" Okay…since when was I in such a 'great place'? "She must be due around February, March time," Lara adds. Ju? "When is it?"

"Ju?" I repeat confusedly. Who's 'Ju?'

"Marina," she clarifies, frowning and smiling in confusion at the same time. "The baby, remember?" Oh God…well now I do!

I never told anyone else. I probably wouldn't have told Zip-in fact, I'd _definitely _not have told Zip!-unless he caught me at a time where I was still really…where it was still fresh in my mind and when I allowed it to bother me. It never occurred to me to tell Lara…

_Liar._

Well, all right it did, but honestly, the fuss that would have caused! She'd probably have had Marina assassinated (or done the honours herself!) Not that I wouldn't have enjoyed that, of course…that woman made me so angry, so furious I quite literally wished to see her lying in a ditch bleeding, screaming in pain, all hope lost! And I don't like that, I don't like that all! I don't like that I hated her so much! I don't like that she affected me so badly! You know me, I'm a relatively conventional guy (other than falling for the worst women, of course) but the thoughts and-dare I say-fantasies of that Cockney whore being dead or very badly injured aren't exactly conventional, are they? And I don't like that she tipped me over the edge!

Now it was a few months ago, and I can examine it more clearly, I've worked out that it wasn't just Marina's…prank, for lack of a better word, getting to me, it was everything. You must remember this was only a couple of weeks after I split with Lara…you remember, because she cheated! Which, ironically, was cause for what Marina did to me in the first place! I've no-one but myself to blame. That's what my mother would have said;

'If you've got an 'angover, it ain't no-one's fault but yours, Alister, cos no-one forced them drinks down your throat t'night before, did they?' That was her metaphor for everything, which is a bit strange, as she wasn't really an alcoholic. She enjoyed the occasional drink (which is a very generous euphemism, trust me) but if I'm being brutally honest, drug abuse was her downfall…

"Uh, no, it's not March," I tell her, realising that nothing has been said for several minutes. "It's not at all."

"How do you mean?" Oh, Jesus, use your head, woman! You're supposed to be smart! "She didn't miscarry, did she?" she gasps. Miscarriage…why didn't I think of that? That's what I should have told Zip.

There was a reason I didn't want everyone knowing-first of all, there would been plots to punish Marina _so_ ridiculous, terrorists wouldn't try them! Second, their overbearing sympathy, I think, may have just tipped me from my teetering position on the edge of the cliff, and when I finally landed, I would have ended up on the psychiatric ward! People are different, some relish the attention; some appreciate it but are indifferent either way; and then are those like me, who just wish the sympathy-givers would piss off and leave you to get on with it! If I need a shoulder to cry on, then please, be there, but otherwise, leave me alone.

I'm not going to lie to her-there's no point. It's not like I'm likely to see Marina again, is it?

"No, she didn't miscarry," I admit. "It's a bit hard to do when you were never pregnant in the first place." I kick the railing as I say this, and lean against it, back facing the garden. A bit of a risky hazard with Zip and fireworks outside, but never mind-hey, if I get hit and hospitalised, I might end up on Intensive Care where my lovely ex works! Oh no, she's in Surgery now, isn't she? Oh well, easy come, easy go. Of course if I actually was hit, chances are I'd need surgery so I'm sure an encounter would be inevitable, just to really brighten my day, you know?

"She knew, didn't she?" Lara's voice brings me back into real life. Mind you, with my thoughts lately, I'm not sure which is worse! "She knew about us, didn't she? She knew that you cheated, and then made up some cock-and-bull story to scare you for revenge." Wow…if that wasn't the truth, I'd say she was writing a plot line for Eastenders!

"Oh, there's more!" I announce half-jokingly. I turn to face her properly, taking my weight off the railing. She looks up at me interestedly as I continue; "You see, scaring me into thinking I would be a father wasn't enough for our Cockney friend. Oh no, she went one step further, didn't she?"

"Do tell, I'm intrigued," she prompts me.

"Well, it went like this. After hinting I should propose-she claimed she believed in old-fashioned, traditional family values-i.e. the kid couldn't be illegitimate-and muggins me actually _gets _a ring, goes back to the hospital and proposes!" As I tell my tale, she looks intrigued; scoffs; nods in understanding; smiles slightly and drops her mouth in utter surprise. Weren't expecting that, were you? I guess I'm not like the type of person to just spontaneously propose to my girlfriend of about six weeks! "Oh, and after loudly rejecting me in front of the entire intensive care staff-not to mention half the hospital-she screams at me about my infidelity and throws the ring box back in my face…it never occurred to the thieving little cunt to return the ring." Her eyebrows raise at the use of the word 'cunt' but doesn't comment. I think you'd get a little verbally violent after that, too, wouldn't you, Lara?

It's true she kept the ring, though; she told me-leaning down over me because I'd stooped-no shame, you see-to retrieve the ring box at this point-that it was the least I owed her, after what I did. Well, what about what she did to me?! Where's my compensation? Where's the 'least she owes me'?!

"Oh, Alister, I am so, so sorry!" she gushes, stretching a hand to stroke my shoulder and the other over her heart, like I knew she would. "When was all this?"

I shrug. "Months ago-back in July," I guess. Well it could have been. I don't like to keep an exact tag on when my heart gets stomped on for the second time in a month, oddly enough! "It's no big-" I try to begin, but don't have the chance to finish my sentence as she forcefully places her lips on mine in a sealing kiss.

Stunned, I make no reaction…and then she pulls away, sighing. She looks…relieved, like she's wanted to do that for a while.

"What was-?" I ask incredulously, a bit shaken and-honestly-flattered.

"I don't know-I just thought it was a good idea," she replies shiftily. She shakes her head, clenching her eyes shut. "No, I don't mean that-it just seemed…right. No, I don't mean that, either, I-"

"Lara," I interrupt, smirking, "you're babbling." She laughs, shrugging. Well if she thinks it's no big deal.

Before giving her a chance to say anything-or myself a chance to think about what I'm doing-I lean down and place my lips on hers once more, instantly gaining a response from her. God, this feels good…

Ignoring my arousal, I add pressure to the kiss, sandwiching our lips together. She gently glides her tongue across my lower lip and attempts to push it between them. Well why not?

I part my lips slightly and she darts in, exploring me. My hands move from her hips slowly up, gliding up her arms, rest on her shoulders briefly. I cup her cheeks, and add more pressure, and finally raise my hands into her hair, running them through it. It's so soft and silky…I've missed this hair…I've missed her…her lips, gazing into her eyes…

I slowly pull away from her, and make eye contact with her. Even with my glasses on, they're such a stunning sparkling brown, amber almost. I could look at those eyes for a long time and not get bored. There's so much mystery in them, so much beauty…so much to be solved.

"Just like old pros," she mutters quietly, somewhat coyly. I nod in agreement. Yes…just like old pros. You know, sometimes I'm not sure which is better…kissing someone for the first time, or…well, a kiss like that. After you've had a relationship with that person, to then kiss again like that…only this time, you know each other, what the other likes, what to do and how long for. Kissing someone for the first time, there's the build-up of adrenaline, which can be really off-putting. But this…this was just so relaxed, so comfortable, so right…

I lower my hands, so they're on her face again-her own are still around my waist. "Lara?" I whisper.

"Yes?"

"I-" This is difficult. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say! "Will-I-"

_BANG!_

Jumping a mile in the air, I pull Lara into a protective embrace. Was that a gun?! How the hell did they get in?! I just remember the last mercenary shoot-out!

I look down at the figure in my arms, to check she's all right, and I feel her shaking…and she's laughing!

A bright flash of colour blasts to my right, and I see-out of the corner of my eye-hundreds of purple sparks…I turn to gaze beyond the balcony railing, and see the dying ends of what must have been a spectacular firework…you stupid, bloody prat, Alister!

"You should have seen your face!" Lara gasps between laughs. Seeing my upset face, she takes me in her arms, and says; "You big plonker, you!" I look into her smiling face, and out of nowhere, this huge urge to laughs envelops me. What a stupid bugger I am! "But you're an adorable plonker," she adds kindly. I smile at her, and-like in all the great, soppy romance movies-place an arm around her shoulders, and just stand, watching the fireworks.

Loud, excited shrieks from Zip ruin the ambience slightly, but that's the difference between films and real life-films are perfect…meanwhile, real life has a prat at the bottom, taking away the romantic atmosphere!

* * *

Wow, that was some display! As much as I love Zip's amateurism, that was so impressive! I swear some of the stuff was projected it was so intricate!

I think everyone thoroughly enjoyed it. And I can't help but feel slightly smug that it was my Welsh that got the man down here! They wouldn't be anywhere without Alister sometimes.

Since the man left, Zip has done nothing but drink beer. I keep shooting him looks, but he just offers me a can! And Lara just says to let him 'get on with it', and that we should be celebrating, and why am I being so cranky? Well I had a smart reply for that-! But then she gave me that look of hers, one that only I recognise…I'm sure you understand what I mean.

I'm not going to get my hopes up, though. Just because we-or at least, I think we are-going to 'sleep' in the same bed again tonight doesn't mean we're getting back together. Or at least, that's what I told Zip, who-after five minutes of jumping and down shouting 'oh my God, dude!' and patting me on the back-just told me to 'lighten up' and 'for the love of God, live! It's a wonder you're not still a virgin!' I try not to take it personally, mainly because he's pissed as a horse addicted to brandy!

Maybe he's right, I should just…'lighten up' and just let it take me for a change, you know, instead of worrying 'is this going somewhere?' or 'what does this mean?' My mother was always telling me the same in my youth, although not about relationships. Jesus Christ, after what my bastard of a dad did, I didn't _dare_ bring up that subject! She would have tried to act understanding and 'listen' but I just know she would have reached for the bottle after…and I didn't want to be responsible for another drinking binge-

Listen to me babble on! I should be relaxing and drinking and-answering the door apparently!

I get up from my comfortable position with Lara on the couch and force my way to the door. Zip was building a fort out of the furniture earlier. There's chairs tipped on their sides in the middle, backed up by the tables with a bunch of bloody boxes to the sides! And even _they_ were reinforced with cushions!

"What's with the fort, Zip?" I ask wearily.

"In case we're attacked by mercenaries," he replies like it's obvious from the fireplace, chugging a beer. Yes, because I'm sure _cushions _will protect us from their bullets! And let's face it, those chairs are just impregnable!

Sighing, I open the door, and for a moment I don't see anyone.

"Hello?" I call, glancing around, and spot a car. A white car, with a red line between it…a police car. Oh dear Lord…it wasn't because of the Welsh guy was it? I could have sworn there was no border control! Even with all these new Immigration laws, I'm sure I would have known!

The policeman-a tall, stout man in his uniform and luminous yellow jacket, looks up from his radio and approaches, removing his hat.

"Alister Fletcher?"

"Y-Yes?" I reply, stunned. Me? Oh God, it _is_ about that Welsh guy! I'm about to get arrested!

"Are you any relation to Grace Madison?" Grace Madison…? What's-what's she got to do with all this? I slowly nod. "Your contact details were found at the institution," he explains, handing me a card. "Is this relevant to you?" Oh yes…it's relevant.

"I-I know it," I stutter. By now, behind me, everyone else has gathered. I half-expected Zip to remark 'are you getting arrested, dude?' but he is silent. I guess even under alcoholic influence he knows when to be.

"I'm very sorry, Mr Fletcher, but a loss of power and security occurred there tonight…and when it returned, Grace Madison was found dead."

* * *

For those of you who-like me-are not Welsh and/or can't speak it, here's some rough-ish translations

**(1) **_**'ydy rhywun 'na?' **_**Is someone there?**

**(2) **_**'Da ddiwrnod, syr, fel chyfnerthwn 'ch?'**_** Good day, sir, how can I help you?**

**(3) **_**'Do, Carwn at chyfloga n' 'firework' arlunydd, blesio'**_** Yes, I would like to hire a firework displayer, please ('arlunydd' literally translated as 'artist')**

**(4) **_**'Carech at chyfloga 'fireworks', syr?' **_**You would like to hire some fireworks, sir?**

**(5) **_**'Na, 'n broffesiynol 'firework' arlunydd' **_**No, a professional firework displayer**

**(6) **_**'Fi m 'n chwith, syr, gwisga t ddeal' **_**I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand**

**(7) **_**'Areithi Saesneg?' **_

* * *

Well I would do the narrator's 'ooh, who's Grace' to try and get you to review, but you'll do that anyway, won't you, my pretties. Yes? Good, good. That's what 13BlacKAnGELs likes to hear. lolx 


	5. The Curse Of Being Fletcher

_Disclaimer: Cheese tells me I don't own this, so I guess I don't...the cheese never lies. Amen_

_jacoblove: You think you still know who Grace is? Or have I succeeded in confusing you? And I love the fish too, but Zip says hands off! He's very fond of Rex! thanx 4 reviewin-have some German cheese!_

_Sweet Christabel: Zip apologises for picking the fish instead of you but 'you just gotta love the way his little mouth opens like that! And his little eyes, and his little flippers...' Alister, however, is extremely flattered, and I think after all the stress and the Old Bill he's been going through, he's going to need a little TLC...thanx 4 reviewing-have a Babybel!_

_Team-chaser: Grace is...for me to know and you to find out! Haha...yes...anyway, yup, Lara and Alister just love their cheese up on the that balcony...keeping Rex in a fishbowl the entire time of course. thanx 4 reviewin-have some...Dairylea!_

_A/N Blame the A-Levels people...although be glad the clocks went back or this could have taken so much longer to put up! Cheese has sustained me though-yay, cheese!

* * *

_

_**Lara's POV**_

We kissed…well, I kissed him, but he kissed me back! And it wasn't just a light peck, either, it was very deep, very passionate. To tell you the truth, it…lifted me up a little, if you catch my drift. It's the sort of kiss that…one of those that-when they're over-just leave you thinking 'wow!' It's been a long time since I felt that.

I'm not really sure if it means anything, though. It could have been him just getting caught up in the moment. Or me. Or both. I mean, the atmosphere was right. It was a typical, clear, starry evening, on top of a balcony and then there were quite literally fireworks just as we were kissing! It's a very fairy-tale reconciliation!

If it is that. I-I would like to be. I have missed him. There have been moments when I felt like I'm certain he did before it happened-where I just wanted to grab him and kiss him and sod the consequences. He's just…he's just one of those men. I mean, what's wrong with him? He's intellectual, dresses smartly, is kind, caring, loyal…and god he's handsome! He is every woman's perfect man. And not only all that, but he's honest yet tactful. There are usually three types-the outright lying; the tactful lying and the far too honest! He's a bit of both the latter, really. I mean, he was honest enough to admit he had feelings for me (albeit after a very long time) and-granted, I don't think there's ever been a time I've consciously noticed his tact, but that could be due to the fact he's just got very good at it!

I suppose I should take that we are now cuddling on the sofa as a good sign. Mind you, we both have had a bit to drink-if anything did happen, there's no telling if we would regret it tomorrow or not…

Zip is over in the corner, chugging away at a beer, entranced by the flames. When asked, he claims 'they dance'. I don't think it's just been alcohol he's had too much of. Either that or he's just got stranger.

He looked a bit hurt when I refused to see his point, so in the end, I relented and started watching the fire with him, from my position in Alister's arms. While Zip does have a vague point, you need have a very strong imagination and to want to really see it to actually see the flames dance.

I tilt my head to the side as I watch. They seem to have taken up a bit of ballroom dancing…hmm…I remember when me and Alister did that once. He'd never had lessons and I had only taken them so as not to embarrass my father at this 'grand ball' when I was twelve once. It had never actually occurred to him that no-one tends to do too much ballroom dancing at a bloody christening!

To cut it short, we made absolute fools of ourselves and had a lot of fun. We didn't go back, though-we had a bit too much pride. Trust me, if you were there, you would understand-

A loud knock interrupts me from my thoughts. Thinking I'd kicked the table, I check my foot. No, nothing wrong with it. Another knock.

"Is that the door?" I ask stupidly.

"Yeah," Alister nods from beside me.

"Well will someone answer it?" to which Alister just shrugs. "Okay, let me rephrase-will _you_ go and answer it?" He tries to ignore me, but apparently can't resist looking at me, where I adopt my most convincing puppy dog eyes. In the end, he sighs and mutters 'I must really love you' somewhat drunkenly and reluctantly attempts to navigate his way through Zip's fort to reach the door.

Turning my attention back to the flames, I block everything out. There seems something not quite right about this…maybe I'm being an absolute nutcase thinking that kiss meant something! I mean, let's face it, we're both quite lonely, have already done it once and are relatively comfortable with each other-and with the romantic setting, who could resist?

"W-what?" Alister squeaks, sounding terrified. Oh God, what's happened?

"Alister, who is it?" I ask concernedly. He doesn't reply and hangs his head slightly. A man pops his head around the door, wearing an official hat. A policeman. "What's going on?" I ask, slowly getting up.

The policeman glances from me to Alister, and his expression looks as if he is debating whether or not to tell me. "Alister?" I ask him directly.

"Excuse me," he whispers, again sounding terrified. Not paying attention to him, I turn back to the policeman.

"What's happened?" I ask.

"I'm afraid I'm not at a liberty to say-unless you are a relative?"

"I'm his employer and landlady-does that account for anything?" I ask somewhat cheekily, knowing full well it won't be enough. He only shakes his head. Fine-if he won't tell me, I suppose I'll have to get it from a more reliable source.

Now where did Alister go again?

* * *

I find him in a bathroom-door open and unlocked-huddled up against the bath, looking like a scared little boy. Oh, Alister, what's happened? 

Closing the door behind me, I tread cautiously into the room, careful not to make any sudden movements. Not that he'd notice in his state.

Taking a seat beside him, we sit in silence.

"What happened, Alister?" I ask timidly.

"She's dead," he mutters, matter-of-factly. "She's dead and it's all my fault."

"Who is? What is?" I press. Though now I think about it, this isn't the time to start getting inquisitive!

"I put her there…I knew she wouldn't like it…I knew she hated it. It's all my fault," he keeps whispering to himself. "It's all my fault, all my fault, my fault…" His voice trails off, and his eyes go misty, as if he's in deep thought. "She told me to my face and I ignored her," he adds.

"Who, Alister?"

"Lara?" he says vaguely.

"It's me, Alister," I tell him, trying to sound reassuring, but probably sound very corny. "Love, it's all right-"

"Don't call me that," he says defensively. "Don't ever call me that."

"Alister-"

"What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be interrogating the policeman at gunpoint for information?"

"Well, when that failed, I had to move on to Plan B," I joke, attempting to humour him. 'Attempt' being the right word by the looks of it. "Sorry, that was inappropriate-"

"Yes it was," he agrees harshly. He looks me up and down, glaring and looking disgusted at me, he frowns and adds; "Why are you still here? Just get out." I don't move. He shouldn't be left on his own…I know, it's not better! "What did I just say?!" he snaps. "Get out! Why do you always have to stick your snooty nose in it?! Why can't you just let me be?!"

"Grieve?" I gasp. "Alister, what's happened? Who is it?"

"I said 'be', not grieve," he corrects me, and then grabs my arm, shoving me out of the now open door.

"Alister, for God's sake-"

"No, not for God's sake, not for anyone's sake!" he shouts at me. "There's no-one's sake here at risk…except for Grace's!"

Grace? Who's Grace, I don't know-

I think about calling him again, but then stop. Let's be real, if this was me, I'd have drawn a gun on them by now! He doesn't have that liberty.

All right then, I will leave him. For a short while. He's sensible-he wouldn't do anything stupid…not like me. He's not like me.

Without thinking, I head back for the hall, and find the policeman still standing in the doorway, door open.

Everyone glances up as I enter-hoping for the gossip, I suppose.

"Is Mr Fletcher not with you?" the policeman asks, looking behind me hopefully. Does it look like he is?

"No, he doesn't want to see anyone," I reply calmly.

"Look, I realise this is a difficult time for him, but is there any way he could wait until later? I need him to come with me."

"Where to? What's going on?" I enquire. "He's not being arrested, is he?" As I say this, Zip jumps up from behind the couch.

"Who's trying to arrest Alister?" he asks, looking at everyone accusingly. "Cos if you are, you're gonna have to go through me first!" Well, being drunk does make you act…dramatically?

"Well, is he?" I repeat. Because if he is-on no charge-he is going to have a hard time!

"No, no, it's all right, nobody's being arrested," the policeman assures us.

"Well then why are you still here? You've already broken his life apparently-why are you still here?" Zip asks hostilely. He's got a good point actually.

"I really need to discuss it with Mr Fletcher," the man replies, looking really reluctant to be here. Jesus, if it's this bad, they tend to send round DS's, don't they? Not constables.

"I suppose you should come in then," I sigh. I don't like this at all, but it's hardly his fault, is it? I open the door wider and step back, allowing him to pass into the threshold, and close the door as soon as he's in. I indicate to one of the armchairs by the fire, but he declines. "Would you like a cup of tea or coffee or something?" I offer.

"No, that's quite all right," he politely declines. It always goes like this, doesn't it? Someone of authority comes in-after being reluctantly invited-they decline a seat and refreshments. It makes you wonder what the point of the 'polite' banter is really.

I don't think he realises quite how long he's going to be standing for, though…Alister was not in a good state.

* * *

_30 minutes later_

"Ah, Mr Fletcher!" PC Drayson announces finally, looking relieved to be allowed to move. I knew he wouldn't take that seat-only detectives change their minds like that.

"So what now?" Alister mutters somewhat boredly. "Do I need to go to a will reading? Sign a lease stating I'm a relative? What?"

"That's all to come, sir," Drayson explains kindly. "For now, I just need you to come with me to identify the body." The body? God, Alister, what's _happened?! _

But Alister just nods in begrudged acceptance. "Do we need to go now, or-?"

"Sooner is generally better than later," Drayson replies. "But if you would rather wait until tomorrow, we would understand-"

"I'll do it now," Alister interrupts firmly. "What's the point in waiting? She's already dead."

"Woah, who's dead?" Zip exclaims. "Alister, what's going on, buddy?" Bad choice of word, Zip-this isn't a 'buddy' moment. But Alister seems not to have heard him and follows Drayson out of the house. What's he doing, going tonight? It's past midnight!

"Alister, I'm coming, too!" I call after him, getting up from my chair and dashing to the door. I'm blocked by Alister as I try to get out.

"No you're not, Lara," he tells me. "I'm doing this alone."

"Doing what-that doesn't matter," I argue. "You shouldn't have to-"

"Yes I do."

* * *

_**Alister's POV**_

It's dark and empty when I return. Well I suppose it's no more than to be expected-it is half three after all.

I very carefully open the door and tread in quietly so as not to disturb anyone. I mean, I've just identified a body, but hey, as long as they don't lose their beauty sleep. That would be too much for them. Lara might consider it the last straw and then throw me out after two months of my being fired because she grew so sick of me! And I'd never see any of them again…the only time I would suddenly remember them would be a chance newspaper cutting lying around on my floor of the mental institute, detailing Lara's victory on finding Avalon and returning with Lady Amelia Croft…maybe even Lord Richard Croft as well. And that would be just too much for my already emotionally and physically unstable heart, so then I would have a heart attack and be forgotten. Don't feel bad for me, though-I'm just one of those blokes.

I could stop it all from happening…yes, I could go insane a few years early and do enough damage so I can actually truthfully claim insanity when the case comes to trial. It would save me a prison sentence from hell and the miserable years that would follow. I'd be in an insane asylum-what's time to me then? I could be treated by the best doctors in the field, but all to no avail. I would be labelled too far gone and forgotten about…again.

This thought in my mind, I walk up the stairs, not caring about the excessive creaking, and head for my domain-yes, you guessed right. The library. Where else would the madman who is to be inevitably forgotten about head for?

Mind you, it would really surprise everyone. They all think I'm so conventional, so…so 'right'. To just lose it would be a complete turn. They think I'm so predictable-I'd prove _them_ wrong! There could even be an article in the paper about me! Yeah, before and during the trial, every newspaper's headline would be 'Two Down, Two To Go; The Legacy of Fletcher Insanity Spreads Its Curse'. Hmm, catchy-quite impressive, even if I do say so myself.

Is it two to go, though? It's catchy, but with the 'two to go', it's factually wrong. I don't think Emma's father qualifies-let's face it he buggered off and broke my mother's heart, taking one of her children with him. If this was a fairytale, he could easily be the evil sorcerer by default. It's more like 'Two Down, _One _To Go'-I don't think Grace would be too impressed if I included Nick in it. She was so upset with him, she changed her name back to Madison before the divorce. It wasn't all 'official' until he served her with papers from America, but still. Emma still calls herself 'Fletcher', though. So do I-Alister Madison just doesn't sound right.

That's odd-there's light shining under the library door. Maybe I left it on? No, it's too flickery, it has to be a candle. Jesus, I could have set the house on fire! All those books!

Opening the door carefully so as not to snuff the candle out, I pop my head around the door, and it's dark. There's no light except the beam of the moon at the undrawn window. That's-I_ know_ there was a flickering light! Oh good, I _am_ going mad!

I close the door behind me, and walk further into the room, scanning for a half-burnt candle. Nothing…there is nothing. How could there be? The only candles Lara keeps are on the candelabras, and if one of them fell, there would be no house left…

Maybe that's what happened. Maybe they're all dead. Maybe I am, too, and this is just purgatory, limbo. To me, the house is still fully erect because I don't know what's happened. Well, if it's true, Lara should get her wish about Avalon…she's been close before, maybe this time she succeeded. Maybe she deliberately allowed the candle to fall to set the whole place alight. Maybe this time it wasn't a Fletcher who lost it, but her…the curse really does spread. Of course, they need not be actual Fletchers, not by name. There was a time I would have wanted her to be a Fletcher…maybe that was enough.

I wonder if Lara knows she's dead…

Well, I know now. So why am I still here? I should be in the land of glimmering gold, the pearly gates, the clouds…maybe that's just Christian paradise. Perhaps Avalon is different…but I've been raised Christian…well, Protestant. But they still have heaven and hell, pearly gates and everything. Just less fancy.

Maybe I have some unfinished business here? Oh! I bet you people like Zip and Winston are still a bit confused! Maybe I need to guide them from limbo to heaven! It's possible. I quite like that idea actually.

And then, when we arrive, all eyes would be on me, and I would be made an archangel…Archangel Alister…and then, maybe I'd see Grace again…

No I won't. I'll never see her again. I might be in heaven but she's in hell for sure. Or maybe it's me who belongs there. Grace did convert back to her Protestantism when she was sectioned. If she had anything to confess, she's had years to repent them. Yes, she's in heaven, and I'm rotting in hell, where I belong. So she told me.

It's the funniest and fanciest hell I've ever seen, though. But then again, what is hell? The stereotype is the flames and sharp rocks and devils with the ultimate evil-the exact opposite to your stereotypical heaven. Maybe hell is just being stuck alone. Knowing there must be other people in the house, and you search endlessly to find them, but to no avail. Dear God…this must be how Lara feels everyday. Searching for Amelia-she knows she's there somewhere, she just can't quite grasp her. That is hell…

This is exactly why I will never get to heaven! I blaspheme, I speak freely of hell…I think condemning someone unfairly to hell is cause enough to go there yourself. Grace had cause, though, after what I did. She was right. She'll be fine, she'll be in heaven. She had cause.

I did what I thought was best. She was out of control, she needed help! If I hadn't acted when I had, she would ended up either dead by suicide or in prison! I-I was saving her! I was trying to save her soul, and at the same time condemned mine. Surely God will have known I did what I honestly thought was best. He's omniscient, he must know! He can't just leave me here! I can't be left alone for eternity! I've been alone all my life, I can't do it anymore-_I can't do it anymore!_

This was how Grace must have felt when the paramedics took her away. Betrayal, hurt, beating loneliness. I made her go through that. I've been to where they put her, it is _not_ a pleasant place! How could it be-it's a mental institute! Oh no, the politically correct term is 'psychiatric unit', isn't it? Mental institute sounds too offensive apparently. I wonder how she lasted this long…

It was suicide, they tell me. They only suspect it, but you don't need to be bloody Einstein to make the connection between a dead clinically depressed patient and a bottle of pills at her bedside! They shouldn't even have been there! It was negligence on their part!

The nurse treating her had been giving her her medication when she was called out to help restrain a violent patient. His episode had been set off by the flickering lights of the emergency power. They can only guess Grace took her chance, because the stupid nurse had left the bloody pills at her side!

I should have gone to see her more often. I should have written letters, even phoned. The first place was the shithole, not the second! As soon as I'd got that job abroad, I made a hell of a lot more money so could afford to send her private. Even when I returned to work for Lara again, it was enough to continue. They wanted a year's deposit, which I couldn't afford before. After the deposit, their fees are actually quite reasonable. I had no problem with payments. I did what I thought was best.

She didn't see it like that, though. She saw it as my final act of severance, so she told her therapist. That sending her private meant I'd given up on her. Usually, the only ones sent private-in the working class, at least-were the terminally ill ones. So instead of seeing it as trying to make her more comfortable, she saw it as an act of abandonment.

I did want to see her, but the first three times I did, she got so upset the therapists actually asked me to stop visiting, that it wound her up! They said she would cure faster if I stopped. So I did. And now she's dead. Not that the two can be linked of course…she hated me. If I'd continued to visit, most likely she would have died sooner, from the stress or something. But still…having to die alone like that. And suicide's a no-no as well. She would be cast from heaven for that…no, no, that's just wrong! She was a wonderful woman, she was just given an unfair disadvantage of falling in love with the wrong people! Like my father, and-and alcohol.

But she was still my mother! And she tried her damnedest to raise me right! Which is difficult to do in south London-believe me! Yes, she smoked, and yes she drank-but she raised me right! I've never picked up a cigarette in my life, and I only drink on special occasions! She raised me to be polite, but also to stand up for myself, but most importantly, to accurately assess which situation would requite which trait. If you've got some insurance bugger trying to rip you off, give him mouth! If you're dealing with an awkward customer, stay reasonable. I followed her advice, and I'm-well, here. I'm relatively well-respected amongst my peers. Mind you, who have I got for company? The prodigal daughter of a lord, a slightly delirious butler and Zip.

But I do have a good job. And it's never boring. God, no! This is what I would call job satisfaction! And…and I like to think it was her guidance that got me here.

God, it's no wonder she hated me! She'd looked after me-had taught me important lessons, comforted me and wiped my tears away, fed me, clothed me…and I pay her back by institutionalising her. No, I couldn't try to look after her like other people, like she did me, no I had to have her sectioned!

They tried to make me feel better, by telling me she had a very 'interesting' condition, and that it was a wonder I'd coped so far. They say that to everyone, though. In truth they probably thought I was the heartless bastard I am.

Maybe Grace had the right idea, taking those pills. What is there in this life, eh? Disappointment, betrayal…I could save everyone from it, could help Lara find Avalon!

What am I talking about? Lara would never get to Avalon! Look at her! She's a murderer, a cold-blooded killer, is very disrespectful of religion it seems at times! She's going straight to hell for certain!

Maybe it's what she deserves. Hell-real hell. Maybe it's what she's already living. Maybe we're all in hell already. Maybe this 'life' is just an illusion, and we're all actually in hell. Our soul's ways of coping with the tortures. And when people die, it's because they've realised the bitter truth, and withdraw from it.

Do you know what's really stupid? Baptisms. Why do they do them when we're babies? They say baptisms are done to wash away any sins, clean the slate. But when you're a baby, how many sins can you have committed? Other than screaming and the constant pooping, I don't see how they can be saved from damnation at so young! Surely you should be baptised on your deathbed, or-or just later on in life. When you've lived it, and actually have something to wash away.

I wouldn't have baptised David, I already know that much. I don't care how much Marina would have argued, it wasn't going to happen. I wasn't going to condemn my son to such an unforgiving, only possible God! If he wants to be religious, it should be his choice! If he wants to be baptised later in life, or bar mitzvah'd or initiated into any other religion, it should be his decision. Because if you think about it, by being baptised etc. you're being committed to a religion you might not even believe in, or want to. And if you get sent to hell for lack of belief, isn't that the fault of the parents for baptising you in the first place?

Maybe that's why all this is happening. You know, Lara and Kurtis, Marina and David/Leah (that's who she would have been, my little girl, little Leah) and now my own bloody mother! I haven't exactly been the most devoted Protestant around.

Or maybe that's the problem. Nick had me baptised Roman Catholic (like Emma was), but Grace had always raised me Protestant. So, using that logic, if I had been a believer, I would have been very strictly blaspheming. I know they're the same these days, in Christianity, but any devoted believer would tell you otherwise. Just look at the Tudors for Christ's sake!

Anyway, maybe because I was raised Protestant, I'm being punished by the Roman Catholic God, because I'm supposed to be _his _follower!

Bloody gods…more trouble than their worth. Can you believe the first commandment is 'thou shalt not have any other gods before me'? Never mind adultery, never mind theft or child abuse or murder-as long as we put _him_ first, that's all right then! He actually uses two commandments of the ten for his high bloody maintenance!

What if I were a better man? Would he then have mercy? Maybe…maybe if I changed, converted back to Protestantism or Roman Catholicism (I mean, that is how I'm baptised) he would forgive me…and maybe then, I could have David or Leah…maybe even both.

I can be a better man. I can repent! I will repent! I'm sorry for all the wrongs I've committed. I'm sorry for forsaking you, great lord. I'm sorry for when I pulled the trigger on that mercenary (although in my defence-no, no defence! It's God's law, and I should obey it!) I'm sorry for when I helped Marie commit adultery on her dead husband. I'm sorry for not respecting my father and Grace as I should have...especially Grace. I'm sorry for…I'm sorry for everything! Will you now forgive me, oh great lord?! You've taught me well! I have learned my lesson! I can change, I _will_! Is it unnatural, sinful to keep scraping up the past, looking for an unorthodox route to Avalon? Because I can stop that. I _will_! I'll resign tomorrow if it is your bidding. But, please, lord, _give me a sign!_

And then suddenly, I startle as a cold, big splash of water hits me in the face, and I realise I am kneeling, facing the moon, and with a jug of water in my hand. Where did-where did that come from?

Wait, water! Of course, they use water in baptisms! Holy water! This has to be a sign. I'll re-baptise myself. I'll do it now, so He knows I mean it, and am not just speculating. Yes…I'll go to the stream, in the grounds. It's not ideal, but it will help with the cleansing process. I'll do it now, and go to the Church tomorrow to have it done legitimately.

I'm coming, Great One. And this time, I'll be a good Christian. I won't let you down. I'll be faithful, I'll be loyal, and I'll never doubt you again.

I'm coming.

* * *

_**Lara's POV**_

_Mist. All mist. It's cold. I look down and see I am wearing only a thin white gown._

"_Come," a voice whispers from through the mist. Who? Mother?_

_I force my feet forward and begin to step through the mist. It's empty, there's nothing here. And then…up ahead, I see a figure, standing alone. A female._

_She is wearing a dark robe, her hair is dark-almost black-and cascading down her back, rippling with the breeze. Even though I can only see her back, I know that she is beautiful. Tantalisingly so._

"_Come," the voice repeats._

"_Mother?" I say frantically, excitedly. This could be her. She had dark hair like so as well!_

_I break into a small run, and stop abruptly beside her, but she doesn't turn around. It is then I notice we are standing in water. No-on water. I can't even see my reflection, it's so clear. There are rocks below me, and fish, swimming in their shoals._

"_Look," the girl instructs from behind me. I look ahead and…see mist._

"_Where? I can't see it!" I tell her frantically. It has to be here! She promised! "You lied to me!" I rage, making to attack her, but she parries my hand with her own, gliding as if a spirit._

"_You have such anger in you, Lara," she says mockingly. "You'll never reach Avalon with that attitude-"

* * *

_

A very loud banging and knocking at the door brings me from the clammy mist and back to my warm bed, accompanied by shouts of "Lara! Lara!" from Zip. Christ, what now?

"Yes, Zip?" I call tiredly, and he comes bursting in breathlessly. He smiles at me awkwardly and clutches his stomach as if he had a stitch, catching his breath. "What is it, Zip?"

"Alister's-gone," he pants.

"Well of course he is, he left last night," I remind him. It's not likely he's back yet, is it? It can only be eight at the latest.

"It's noon, Lara-they don't keep you that long to identify a body!" Noon?! No, it can't be, can it? I never sleep in till that late! It's impossible.

"Are you sure it's noon, Zip?" I ask sceptically.

"Yah-huh!" he says seriously. "I even had Winston confirm it!" Well if Winston says it's twelve…I just can't believe I slept so late.

"How do you know he's missing?" I ask, pulling on a dressing gown.

"Cos he's not in his room, he's not in the library-I don't think his bed's even been slept in!"

"All right, calm down, Zip," I reassure him. "We'll find him, all right? You and Winston check the house, I'll check the grounds."

* * *

Well you're certainly being an elusive little bugger, aren't you, Alister? I've just returned to the house after my vain search in the garden, and neither Zip nor Winston has seen him. To calm Zip down, I told him I'd look again, that I probably just missed him, but I'm starting to get worried myself now. Alister's not the sort to go wandering. If he has a problem he'd make it go away by getting into his work. I guess the death of this 'Grace' really pushed him over the edge…although it's about time, I must admit.

Oh, Alister, where are you?

"Alister?" I call for the thousandth time. "Alister? Can you hear me? Where are you?" You know, I actually hope he can't hear me-I must sound like a right plonker! Unless it's in a debate or there's a lot of background noise, I actually hate consciously raising my voice. "Alister?!"

There's only one place I haven't checked, and that's by the stream…but I can't imagine Alister going there. I doubt if he even knows of its existence! It's in a very obscure, well hidden part of the grounds. There's even a hedge to duck through to reach it, and-no offence to him-but the idea of Alister ducking through a hedge in his tweed jacket is very comical!

It's still worth a try, I suppose. Zip wouldn't forgive me if I didn't, and he kicks up such a fuss it's just easier to do it, trust me.

"Alister?" I call again, crawling through the gap. I stand up straight as I emerge the other side, and scan the area. Nothing. And then-

"Alister?" I shout disbelievingly. That can't be him! I can see a dark spot by the riverside-it's just there, see? "Alister?" The thing doesn't stir. Oh God, I hope he's not-

Running towards him, I yell his name more frantically, my eyes confirming that is indeed him. I collapse beside him and turn him to face me. His eyes are shut…but he's breathing. He's breathing!

I take his head onto my lap and pat his face gently. My God, he's freezing! How long has he been here?

"Alister?" I whisper, patting him again. He moans softly, and weakly moves his head. "Alister, it's Lara. Can you hear me?" He moans again, and turns his face away from me. "Alister-"

"Let me be," he mutters weakly. "You know nothing."

"Alister, you're bloody freezing! Let me take you in, get you warmed up-" Suddenly, he bolts upwards, out of my grip.

"Oh no you don't!" he rages, towering over me. "Don't think I'm going to fall for it, Croft!"

"Fall for what?" I ask confused, rising to meet his level.

"He won't stand for it…and neither will I," Alister tells me defiantly, somewhat proudly. "If it is His will for me to be cold, so be it."

"Whose?!"

"His! Our lord's! Don't be so blasphemous, you ignorant bitch!" he shouts, gripping my shoulders and shaking me. I disgustedly remove his hands from me.

"Well if it was His will for you to almost freeze to death, I guess He sent me to stop it from happening!" I argue back, taking his hand. "Now will you please come back to the house? I'm only in a dressing gown and I'm cold!"

"All right, Lara," he agrees. Just like that. He looked ready to throw me into the stream a moment ago.

_He's been through a lot, Lara-he's just reacting badly._

If you're back, by the sounds of it, so am I.

"Come on," I coax him. "It's obviously His will for me to take you back in or you would have died…and He doesn't want that."

* * *

He's lost it. He's gone completely and utterly mad. He's a scientist, for Christ's sake! He doesn't _do_ religion! It is exactly religion that his very profession is contradicting!

But you try telling him this! I mean it, one word against 'Our Father', and if looks could kill…well. I'm surprised he hasn't resigned yet, then, because I'm certainly not dropping my mission for religion! Of all the things that has-and could-get in my way, religion isn't one of them! Unless it's the religion of Avalon-that I will support if necessary.

_I don't think it counts as support if it's for your own means._

Half the followers of every religion are doing just that for fear of being sent to hell!

I cry out in frustration! I thought I'd got rid of that voice months ago!

"Lara, what's wrong, you sound stressed."

"That's because I am," I sigh obviously.

"Well maybe I can help," Alister says, putting down his bible. Oh yes, you heard right-bible. He moves next to me onto the sofa, though leaving a sufficient amount of space between us. What, does the bible forbid being even too _close _to an unmarried woman?!

"I doubt it-your lord wouldn't approve," I sigh.

"_Our _lord," he corrects. "And He will forgive you, Lara, if you feel true sorrow." If the situation wasn't so horrific, this would actually be very amusing. But it's not-it's tragic. This isn't Alister. Alister's…Alister gets wound up too easily, he inadvertently makes you laugh, he's sweet…he's not a preacher, he's not religious. There's a very fine line between these two Alisters, and I wish he'd cross back.

"Avalon," I begin. "I'm getting nowhere with it-what? Why don't I like that look?" From the word 'Avalon', his face fell, and he sighed, leaning back against the sofa, before glaring at me in a disapproving manner.

"I'm not sure Avalon is your path to absolution, Lara," he tells me gently. "Maybe you should just forget it. He wouldn't like it-"

"Yet He felt it necessary to send my mother there?" I contradict, feeling an anger rage inside me. He's only been 'converted' for a few days and already I want to quite literally knock some bloody sense into him!

"Your mother messed with time-"

"And just how exactly did she do that?" I rage. "She didn't activate that portal, she didn't even put it there! Someone did, and if it wasn't a mortal, I guess it must have been your great lord!"

"It's the work of the devil, Lara," he says, remaining calm in that arrogant manner I've seen far too often before. (Not from him, you understand.) "It goes against the natural order of things. I was wrong to accuse Amelia, she's just an unfortunate victim of the devil." Oh for God's-oh sorry, that's blaspheming, isn't it? "Although she should never have pulled that sword out-"

"She was trying to stop _me_ from being hurt!" I hurl at him. "If that's not a good deed, I don't know what is!"

"Perhaps it was His will for-"

"Us to die? Well he's certainly failed on me, hasn't he?!" Taking a deep breath, I continue before Alister can butt in; "I survived on my own wits, Alister, not because some lord let me! It has always been like that, and it always will be! It won't be him that gets me to Avalon, it'll be me, like it always has been! And I _will_ get there! One way or another, I _will!_"

"Lara, it's all right for you to be angry," he says after a few minutes of leaving me to calm down. "Sometimes even I don't understand what His reasons are, but-"

"Alister, you sound like an old monk!" I tell him, still worked up. "You've been a Christian for three days!"

"First of all, I have been a Christian since the day of my first baptism when I was a baby," he contradicts. "And second, I'm a Roman Catholic. There's a huge difference-the Protestants were formed by a very high maintenance king in Tudor times. It's not a legitimate branch of religion." There are so many things I would like to do right now…but if I do any of them, he'll just try to talk me out of it in that annoyingly calm voice of his, and then I really will lose it!

"I thought you were raised Protestant?" I settle for.

"It's how I was falsely raised," he explains. "I was baptised Roman Catholic…and again last night."

"Excuse me?" How many churches are open at the time he must have come in? I stayed up until two waiting for him! It's not very likely he found himself some nice priest to re-baptise him!

"Why do you think I was at the stream? It wasn't to admire the view." Do they allow sarcasm in Roman Cath-what did he just say?

"What? You baptised yourself?!"

"I was going to have it done legitimately the following day, but a certain someone wouldn't let me out of the house!" See, right there, that's Alister! The Alister I knew and loved! Not this monkish, practically monotonous freak!

"Well I'm sorry I got in the way of that," I mutter ironically.

"It's all right, Lara, you meant well," he says in 'the Voice' again. "I am sure you will be forgiven."

"Well I won't exactly quake in my boots if I'm not," I sigh, moving away from him. He's actually starting to scare me.

"You can't live your entire life a cynic, Lara," he informs me. "At one point or another, we all turn to religion for salvation." What did-how-dare-he?

"Do you want to know what happened when I did look to religion for salvation?" I ask dangerously, but he is unperturbed. He just nods in that sickeningly calm way. "I tried to commit suicide, Alister-you may remember, you stayed at my beside long enough. The idea that I was being punished drove me over the bend so much I tried to kill myself. That's the result of your precious religion-it's not a pretty picture, is it?"

"I'm disappointed in you, Lara," is all he has to say. "He has been very lenient with you-that you couldn't handle his test frankly lowers my estimation of you very much."

"Fuck you!" I scream at him in one loud burst of rage. "Just fuck you and your fucking lord and your stupid fucking religion!"

* * *

_**Alister's POV**_

I'm going to have to pray for her tonight, clearly. I will forgive her, because this transition will be difficult for all of us. But He will run out of His endless patience with her eventually-only prayers can prolong it, hopefully enough so she'll see in time.

I've decided I won't hand in my resignation. She needs my help. She needs someone to pray for her soul. There's only so much I can ask forgiveness on her behalf for if I'm not around. As for Zip-well, don't get me started on him! I haven't strictly read the entire Bible yet, but I know enough to be able to pray for Zip's soul as well. Crime, homosexuality…I doubt if he's even sorry for either. But I will pray for him, just as I will Lara, and probably Winston as well. It's always best to be on the safe side.

Don't get me wrong, Winston's a great person, a good man, but everyone's a sinner, aren't they? I doubt if even Jesus had a perfectly clean slate…oh what an awful thing to say!

Forgive me, our lord, our Jesus, I meant no disrespect. I will confess all.

Oh yes, that reminds me. I'm to go to the church later, and make my first confession. I meant to do it after Mass on Sunday, but it seems everyone had the same idea. It's no trouble-it's only a two mile walk. Maybe I should see about Lara building a chapel in Croft Manor? There's plenty of room, and it would be easier than traipsing two miles everyday…no, no, that's unholy. Taking the easy way out. If I am to prove my dedication, I can't be taking shortcuts just because I have the resources. That's not what religion is about. It's about equality, and there's no reason I should have it easy just because I can afford to build a chapel.

If I could, I would convince Lara to come with me. She must have a _lot_ to confess. If it were appropriate, I would ironically add that they'd probably turn her away! But they'd never do that-they embrace all and any with open arms, much like Our Father.

And also, while I'm there, I should start to arrange mother's funeral. I know she was a Protestant, and this is a Roman Catholic Church…actually, it might just be a Christian Church, I'll have to check. Maybe I should just go to a funeral parlour…no, no, it has to be a church! She was baptised a Christian, she shall be buried a Christian. I'd be condemning her if she wasn't buried in church grounds. And there'll be none of this cremation lark, either. If it was God's will for us to be a pile of ashes, we wouldn't have these bodies now!

"Your tea, sir," Winston's husky voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"I didn't ask for-"

"I have been preparing this tray for four years-forgive me for not awaiting instructions." I didn't know Winston could do irony. But that's beyond the point. I shouldn't be asking servitude of him. If anything, I should be bringing _his _tea! I'm the young and ripe one-he's lived his life and deserves to sit down for once.

"Well, it's no trouble, Winston-I think I'll make it myself in future," I tell him, accepting the tray, feeling extremely guilty. It's never occurred to me before just how much Winston does for _everyone_, not just Lara. He brings our afternoon teas, he does the washing, cooks most of our meals, keeps the house spotless, and yet still has time to answer our personal calls. Of course we chip in with the housework occasionally, but we've all been making the classic mistake-we've been so involved in our own affairs we haven't even taken the time to thank this man for everything he's done for us! You know, I was wrong-he doesn't need praying for. His soul's already perfect.

"Thank you, Winston," I say gratefully. When he just smiles modestly, I press; "No, really, thank you very much. This house would be lost without you." He's looking a bit worried now, but why should he be? I'm not being funny, I'm being serious. It is people like him that make this world a better place. If we could all be like him, there would be no need for heaven...we'd already be there.

"Are you quite certain you're entirely well today, sir?" he asks me concerned, but I just nod, smiling. I've never been better, Winston-I've quite literally never been better. Having faith really suits me. I've not felt anger, desperation, fatigue, overworked…I'm just…happy! If I'd have known it would be this good, I would never have turned to science-no, no! That makes me sound like those typical Christians, in it to reap the benefits! But I'm not, I assure you, lord, I am not! Forgive me…forgive me…

* * *

I return from the church feeling as though a huge weight has been lifted from my chest. I told the priest everything. Absolutely everything. He was quite horrified by some parts of it, I will admit-but I do feel much better for it now. He has advised me to say three Hail Mary's throughout the day-one as I rise, one as I go to bed, and another at some point during the day. Above this, I must pray at night before I go to bed and attend Mass every Sunday. It seems we need to do so little to please our God. He really is as all-loving and all-forgiving as they say. This isn't the vengeful, wrathful God I'd been taught to despise…admittedly he does have wrath, but who doesn't? A little discipline is needed to keep us all in our place anyway.

"Hey, dude, where have you been?" Zip's casual voice emits from the sofa, gazing at a magazine.

"It's Alister," I correct, hanging up my coat and removing my scarf. "And I've been to church."

"Church?" he repeats. "Why again?"

"To make confession," I explain, taking off my gloves. It's actually quite cold out there.

"You? Alister, I don't see what you got to confess about!" he says sceptically, but I can tell from his tone that he is smirking. Well if he won't take it seriously…

"At least I do confess," I reply haughtily. "Which is more than I can say for the rest of this household! Winston excepted, of course," I grant him.

"Well, sorry if I don't wanna go talking about my personal life with some hobo in a robe," Zip mutters. What did he just say?

"W-what did you just say?" I ask him incredulously. "I really hope I heard you wrong, because for a moment there, I thought I heard you call His nearest servants hobos." I laugh uneasily. "I must have heard wrong, right?" Zip shrugs nonchalantly.

"Hear what you want, man," he mutters carelessly, turning back to his magazine.

"Well it's better to be hobo than homo," I hiss fiercely.

"Excuse me?"

"There's no shame in being homeless-but as for your lifestyle, well…need I say more, poof?"

"What did you just call me?" he asks me, sounding more hurt than dangerous. Good! Someone needs to tell him! "Did you just call me a 'poof'?"

"Well you are, aren't you? Or are you telling me you mistook the dangly things for vaginas?"

"Screw you, man-oh I'm sorry, I can't, you freaking monk!" he shouts at me, throwing his magazine down in real rage.

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" I splutter. "I have no shame in living my life admirably."

"That's not admirable-celibates are freaks who are either eunuchs or have commitment problems! If you think that's good, then you're a very sad man," he tells me.

"I don't need to heed the word of a homosexual," I say coolly. "If you expect me-or indeed anyone-to take you seriously, I suggest you clean up your act. I don't wish to damage our friendship, but if I'm to really progress and gain His forgiveness, I can't be in close contact with someone so impure."

* * *

_**Lara's POV**_

"He said _what?!_"

"That I was impure…arrogant bastard," Zip sighs, sounding genuinely upset. Impure? I know he's eccentric, but give me a break! Alister isn't exactly simple himself!

"What did you do, look at his bible wrongly?" I mutter, smirking.

"I wish," he retorted unsmilingly. Alister's really got to him this time.

"Hey," I soothe, pulling him into a hug. "You're not 'impure', all right? You're Zip-you might be a bit eccentric, but you're loyal and a great friend. And if that's not good enough for Alister and his God, then sod him!" He smiles at me weakly, a very forced one. "But what did you actually do? Misuse His name?"

"I wish," he repeats. Jesus, what did he do? "I'm gay."

"Yes, we know, Zip, it's been said," I smirk. He just looks at me then, really obviously, like I'm supposed to pick up on some subliminal message. I stare confusedly back, but he doesn't say anything. Oh… "Is that his problem?" I ask. Zip shrugs sadly.

"Apparently he can't be in close contact with me cos I'm gay and therefore impure," he tells me. Oh, that is the most ridiculous-I've had enough of this.

"That's it!" I burst. "I am sick to death of this 'converted' Alister! He was already driving me around the bend, but he is _not_ going to make you feel badly about being gay!"

"Lara, don't, it's just not worth it-"

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, Zip-just like I wouldn't if _I _was gay, or…or Winston! Homosexuality isn't a crime, and I am not going to let Alister treat you in this medieval manner! You can forget me forgetting about it!"

"Wow," he mutters quietly as I exit.

"What?" I ask, turning to face him where he's sitting on my bed.

"I never knew you felt so passionately about it-I don't think I've ever seen you so…I mean, you've been mad and really passionate before, but not like this. This is different. I like it," he adds as an afterthought.

"I just don't like prejudice," I tell him. "Especially when it's against someone like you."

* * *

"Alister!" I shout loudly, storming around the house. That calm rage was for Zip's purpose only-Alister's going to be getting a bloody volcano! "Alister! Where are you, you bastard?!"

I crash into the library, eyes scanning the room for anything that might resemble him. A tweed jacket perhaps, or a sodding crucifix! He's not in the main bit, but I'm done yet. I thump up the stairs, still calling his name at the top of my voice.

_If he hasn't heard you by now, he's not in here._

And you can shut up as well!

"Bloody hell, Alister," I hiss at the empty study. I almost get the fright of my life, though, when I turn to leave and find myself face to face with him.

"Did you want something?" he asks in 'the Voice'.

"Yes, actually, I did-I want to know since when did you become such an intolerant, arrogant, insufferable git?!"

"I'm sorry?"

"Zip!" I clarify. "How-how-bloody-_dare_-you?! How dare you talk to him like that, how dare you try to make him feel guilty? And how dare you base the future of your friendship on the condition that he becomes straight?!" By now, I am right up in his face, probably getting full drops of spit in his eye, but he doesn't even flinch, not once.

"There's no daring involved, Lara," he retorts calmly, wiping his glasses-less eyes, I notice. What, does God oppose them as well now?! "I'm just standing up for my beliefs, like you do all the time. Surely you understand the concept?"

"Not when it involves upsetting Zip for his being gay!"

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Lara-although I suppose it's too late for you now, anyway. You know what, forget I said anything," he smiles confidently and calmly, and leaving the room. What-what's he on about now?!

Sighing disgustedly, I follow him out of the room, determined to reach the bottom of this silly obsession.

"What are you talking about?" I ask him steadily as I can, watching him sit down at his desk and pick up a copy of the bible.

"Remaining friends with someone like Zip isn't going to do you any more damage than is already done," he explains.

"Damage?"

"Do you even feel guilty for everything you've done, Lara?" he asks me sadly. "Anything, in fact? All those murders? All that blaspheming? And I doubt any of your artefact adventures are exactly moral, either."

"And _this_ is?!" I spit.

"Although, there is one thing you feel guilt for," he corrects himself, thinking. "The adoption? You've made it quite clear you regret that."

"Don't you dare-bring her into this," I whisper dangerously.

"I believe I just did," he retorts cockily, and then-would you believe it-looking back down to his sodding bible! Oh you want to be a cocky bastard like that so-called God of yours, eh? Well, let me show you a thing or two!

Without warning, I march up to his desk and rip the book out of his hands. He protests, and then his eyes turn into an expression of horror as I begin ripping the pages from it. They fall in great clumps to the floor, and then I throw the cover on top of them for good measure.

He gazes at me, utterly perplexed and speechless. Well, has God struck me down? No? Didn't think so. I stamp on the pile.

"What did you just do?" he asks weakly and hoarsely. Oh for God's sake, Alister! You think that was bad?! "You-you blasphemous, unholy, sinful-"

"Careful, Alister, you're going to call me by the forbidden words soon," I mock.

"Get out," he says just as hoarsely, turning away from me. "Just get away from me, now!"

"All right," I agree, but taking up the rest of his 'holy' papers with me. At the rustling, he turns to look at me.

"What are you doing?!"

"Saving you," I mutter. He watches me, terrified I'll rip them all again. Oh I wouldn't play the same trick twice, Alister…

Once I'm sure I've got them all, I walk defiantly out of the library. Alister is soon hot at my heels, at which point I break into a run, across the banistered hall and down the stairs to the roaring fire. I can't take this holy bullshit anymore!

"NO!" he cries loudly as I toss the first few into the flames. "Lara, stop! NO!" Ignoring him, I throw the remaining in the fire, and pick up his statue of the Virgin Mary. "No, please, Lara," he begs me, but I only shake my head, and aim it at his head. Like a normal person, he ducks, and it smashes against the wall behind him.

He seems to be in a trance, as he looks from the fire where the smouldering remains of his precious holy papers lie, and then to the broken fragments of his statue. A pity I never found his rosary-that would have been fun, to rip it bead by bead.

And then he looks at me, devastated, until…anger, pure anger like I've seen only once before, flares up in him and he comes charging at me, roaring like a madman.

The first blow lands unexpectedly on my head, and is accompanied by another…and another.

"Alister!" I shriek, raising my hands to protect myself. It's all I can do, he's got me cornered!

Seeing a gap, I kick out my leg and it makes a hard connection with his shins. He falls back, but he's not finished yet.

"You BITCH!" he screams, running at me again. I try to block him, but the force is so strong, he knocks me hard against the wall, my head catching the edge of the fireplace. He starts to kick me, grabbing my hair, punching me…and I can do nothing, other than punch blindly. He's got me pressed against the wall. I'm helpless as he continues to beat me. All I can do is scream…

"Alister!" I shriek. "Stop it! Alister, please!"

"I'll make sure you never disrespect Him again!" he shouts tearfully, grabbing me by the shoulders. Oh God it hurts…everywhere hurts…

"Alister, let me down," I gasp, as he raises me, gripping my neck. "I can't-breathe. Alister!" I kick out at him again, and he drops me, but pushes me against the wall again.

"There's only one way to get through to you, isn't there, Croft?" he whispers silkily into my ear. "I'm sure you're familiar with it." He turns me around, and smacks my face against the wall. "He will understand I am doing this to avenge Him," Alister says. And then one of his hands reaches for the zip on my jeans…

Screaming in fear and desperation, I elbow him sharply in the stomach, and accompany it with a punch to the head. But he just grabs my hair once more, and spins me around. I fly across the room, and land on the floor, smacking my head on the table.

I can't breathe…I can't breathe…

"Alister! What the fuck have you done?!" someone shouts, but my vision's blurred. I can't breathe…

I gasp weakly; "Zip," and it's not long-or is it?-before he's at my side.

"Lara?" he whispers. Yes, Zip. "It's okay, Lara…it's all gonna be okay. We're gonna get you to hospital and you'll be okay. It's gonna be all right. I promise."

* * *

_Dear, dear, Alister...review for the full story, friends. Bye-bye! (and yes, for those observant people, I did use a Simpsons line)_


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